Clarity & Funk v2.0

Pakistan Bans the Internet.

2010-05-22T00:50:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone. I haven't been blogging for a long long while. Mostly because I started working in August and since then have had this unrealistic image of my not having time to blog. A whole lot has happened since then. Much stuff relating to the band, work, my ACCA (I'm done!) and quite a few other topics. However, right now what I feel is most important is Pakistan's currently ongoing Internet censorship. This is an email I'm sending out to everybody I know. I thought I'd post it here too.

FYI. I can't access Facebook and stuff so any comments over there will not get to me anytime soon. Comment here please. Here we go:

"Hello, fellow countryfolk.

This is a manually generated response to the plethora of msgs I recieved initially urging & then celebrating the ban on Facebook. A ban that now includes Wikipedia, Twitter, Flickr, Youtube and for a short while had Google too. Apart from 450 other websites.

Some stats regarding Facebook are in need, I feel.

1) Facebooks ANNUAL revenue stream is around $1.1billion. This makes it logically IMPOSSIBLE for them to have suffered a €2billion loss in 2 days, that'd become €40billion in a week. €40billion is more than Pakistan's national debt. Therefore all the messages and/or news reports claiming so are one thing: FALSE.

2) Facebook has 400 million users. Pakistan has little more than 2 million. We hence represent less than 0.59% of Facebook and are therefore NEGLIGIBLE. Our boycotting/banning/quitting Facebook will have little to no effect on their lives/careers/business.

3) Till last weekend the controversial page over which this whole mess was created had around 4,000 fans. The night before the ban, our overhyped, insecure, overreactionary measures took that number upto 40,000. Also, this ban removes access to the many pages and groups SUPPORTING Islam and its related subjects like Islam, Salat, many pages devoted to celebrating the life and teachings of the Prophet Muhammad (PBuH), the Ka'aba and many others. Also, The Guardian and Dawn News report that the page in question now has more than 100,000 fans. Can we, with a clear conscience, say that is not our fault in any way?

4) Finally, we are the only muslim nation in the world to have gone the extra mile and banned all these websites. Even the generally strict countries like the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia and the UAE have only gone so far as blocking the webpages in question.

Now for some background information:

The page "Lets Draw Muhammad Day" came in response to a South Park episode where such a concept was introduced in response to what non-Muslim people view as irrational and overzealous reactions of Muslim people when such a concept is introduced and also as a reaction to the Danish cartoonist who's house was the victim of an arson attack recently.

It is completely justified to consider their actions a result of ignorance but do you really think violence and such banning of information and protesting is appropriate? When the Danish cartoons were published, there were protests throughout Pakistan that left 5 people dead. Why did Pakistanis die? Why were the protests so ugly? Is that what the Prophet(PBuH) himself would have done? Are we honoring his name, work and example by doing things he himself not have approved of? Have we even stopped to consider as much? Or did we just take everything that's been happening to and around Muslims and jump to the conclusion that this is part of a broader conspiracy against us, like we are so quick to do?

Also, why did the LHC/PTA/whoever ban all the other sites? Is there a source of knowledge as comprehensive as Wikipedia, online? Sure it's not always right and is open to malicious/incorrect editing but still. When was the last time you read a REAL encyclopedia when you really needed to get information? Update: As of last night I find that Wikipedia is accessible again but the page about "Lets draw Muhammad Day" is not.

And Youtube. How many videos are now inaccessible as a result of this ban? Youtube is 5 years old and is estimated to run 2billion videos A DAY. How many of those do you really think are anti-Islam? Really. How many of those will you come across on an average day, UNLESS you go out of your way to look for them? A negligible amount, surely. I've been on Youtube for a couple years now and have seen thousands of videos thus far. Literally thousands. Not one of them was anti-Islamic. Educational? Sure. Entertainment? Most definitely. Anti-Islamic? Not one. Sure I saw plenty of thumbnails but I didn't feel forced to go there and watch and hence be affected. Youtube and Facebook and such places aren't really forums where such discussions are taken seriously, anyway. Is is really so hard to ignore people we ourselves are so quick to deem "ignorant"? Should we ignore them at all? Should we not try to engage them in sincere debate? Did you do that? Chances are, no. Even if you did, you started and ended with anger and hate, leaving your point worthless.

Please do not take this email or any similar sentiments to mean people can't live without Facebook/Youtube etc. It's quite easy and more than possible. Arguably even better than living with them. Still, harbor no delusions. Leaving all of them WILL NOT make your life less filled with time-wasting. That's like saying there was no time-wasting before them. Youtube is just 5 years old. Facebook even less. Were you super efficient 5 years ago? Is your life a downward spiral since then? The truth is; no.

The real issue is not that all of this is unavailable. The real issue is the lack of choice in the matter. YOU didn't choose to boycott them. We were all given no other alternative. While we are so against their "freedom of speech" that allows them to say such things, our being blocked from it all is proof that our freedoms are limited. What happens if tomorrow you disagree with the government? Will you allow yourself to be silenced? Chances are, you won't have a choice. UPDATE2: Dawn reports that a total of around 800 websites have been blocked by the PTA on instructions from the government. Did you know of 800 websites that could have hurt your faith?

Wikipedia, Youtube, Flickr, Twitter have very little to do with the said page and its supporters. Blocking them does not achieve global Muslim harmony and respect. Blocking them means the government thinks it knows better than you what you should or should not see/hear/read. The possibility of the government covering up information they do not want the average Pakistani to read is not a new one nor one that is inconceivable as proven by this Wikipedia article and Dawn's reporting of what the chief of Google thought about this current scenario. This widespread banning is most probably a facade. An excuse to cover up all that they public may think is negative about the government while hiding behind the righteous curtain of defending the sanctitiy of Islam. That is a world I refuse to be a supporter of.

Thus, in conclusion; we learn that the ban HELPED those who made the page by swelling their ranks and proving their view of our being close minded and incapable of debate. We learn that the ban is probably not about the issue of Islam and the Prophets(PBuH) honor anyway. We learn that while freedom of speech and expression are guaranteed in the Constitution of Pakistan our government, the PTA and the LHC have somehow seen fit to take this pathetic step. Also we cut off our links to entertainment, communication and information leaving there no losers on the playing field but us. Just like when PAKISTANIs in PAKISTAN died over the Danish cartoon publication.

Good job oh ye 'faithful'. Pakistan's been screwed. Again."

My name is Ali Hasan Abbasi. I am a citizen of Pakistan, a believer of free speech and a possessor of common sense. I stand against this ban, and all other forms of censorship. I believe people are more than capable of knowing what is right and wrong and what they should or should not do. I consider this ban an insult to my intelligence, my status as a Muslim and my status a citizen of Pakistan.

You should too.

Whereas sovereignty over the entire Universe belongs to Almighty Allah alone, and the authority to be exercised by the people of Pakistan within the limits prescribed by Him is a sacred trust;

And whereas it is the will of the people of Pakistan to establish an order :-

Wherein the State shall exercise its powers and authority through the chosen representatives of the people;

Wherein the principles of democracy, freedom, equality, tolerance and social justice, as enunciated by Islam, shall be fully observed;

Wherein the Muslims shall be enabled to order their lives in the individual and collective spheres in accordance with the teachings and requirements of Islam as set out in the Holy Quran and Sunnah;

Wherein adequate provision shall be made for the minorities freely to profess and practise their religions and develop their cultures;

Wherein the territories now included in or in accession with Pakistan and such other territories as may hereafter be included in or accede to Pakistan shall form a Federation wherein the units will be autonomous with such boundaries and limitations on their powers and authority as may be prescribed;

Therein shall be guaranteed fundamental rights, including equality of status, of opportunity and before law, social, economic and political justice, and freedom of thought, expression, belief, faith, worship and association, subject to law and public morality;

Wherein adequate provision shall be made to safeguard the legitimate interests of minorities and backward and depressed classes;

Wherein the independence of the judiciary shall be fully secured;

Wherein the integrity of the territories of the Federation, its independence and all its rights, including its sovereign rights on land, sea and air, shall be safeguarded;

So that the people of Pakistan may prosper and attain their rightful and honoured place amongst the nations of the World and make their full contribution towards international peace and progress and happiness of humanity :

Now, therefore, we, the people of Pakistan,

Cognisant of our responsibility before Almighty Allah and men;

Cognisant of the sacrifices made by the people in the cause of Pakistan;

Faithful to the declaration made by the Founder of Pakistan, Quaid-i-Azam Mohammad Ali Jinnah], that Pakistan would be a democratic State based on Islamic principles of social justice;

Dedicated to the preservation of democracy achieved by the unremitting struggle of the people against oppression and tyranny;

Inspired by the resolve to protect our national and political unity and solidarity by creating an egalitarian society through a new order;

Do hereby, through our representatives in the National Assembly, adopt, enact and give to ourselves, this Constitution.

-Preamble to the Constitution of Pakistan.

the ADP analysis.

2009-08-30T09:08:00.000-07:00

Just a little statement before the main course, I'm going to try and post a bit more and keep the posts short. Easier for me, for you, for the world.

DISCLAIMER: This is just going to be one long episode of uthaoo-giri. If you don't what that means you need to chill in Gulshan or with Gulshan-ites a bit more. If you don't know what/where I'm talking about, you need to die in Karachi or never come.

ADP is without a doubt my favourite underground Pakistani band. To the extent that they occupy all the positions on my top5. No one else even comes close.

Analysis has revealed, at least to me, that their secret is in their absolute tightness. The band is one being. Let's start with OmarBilalAkhtar.

OBA is basically a kickass vocalist who really knows what he sounds good at, what he likes to sing, and what's in between. Which, as the Venn diagram below illustrates(people on Facebook, you need to head over to the blog to see this); is what matters. Or so Simon Cowell says.

He isn't a guitar virtuoso, which is a common requirement for many a Pakistani maila listening to MATULL. I do not think he can shred. I do not think he wants to. Which is absolutely fine. But then there are going to be idiots who say "MAGAR YAAR MIXOLYDIAN RUN DAAL DETA TU MAZA AJATA". Look up "chullu bhar paani" you shitbrained pansy.

Also he's funny. Gets the girlies laughing. The dudes too. With none of the "Oh you think he's funny?? Well, fuck him!" nonsense that usual recipients of female fandom get. Frontmen should be entertaining. Keep the people interested. It's either that or he grows his hair long, straightens it, and shows up in a leather banyaan. I don't think that will help but that's all I've got.

Plus he has a Line6 Pod X3 which is absolutely mindBLASTING.

OK is solid as shit. Which is a vague simile at best but that's just the way it is. He will drop a stick at EVERY show but Holy crap on a snare I have never seen anyone play as hard as he does. His face will be like Steven Seagal, expressionless, but you know he will kick your butt. His damn face wobbles with every bang(heehee) and the drums look like they're going to collapse and cause a hydrogen bomb to go off too while they're at it. No fancy tricks, no showboating. Just a nuke on your balding head. That's the OK style.

I am Photoshop illiterate. So sue me.

Every band should have a signature of sorts. With the Red Hot Chili Peppers it's Flea and his crazyness, with GnR it was Slash, with Nirvana it was some punk ass druggie moaner identifying with people who'd be emo except the term wasn't popular then. You get the point. At the start, with ADP, it was Yasir Qureishi and his darbuka. The middle-eastern madness he stirred up in songs like Sultanat or ADPs cover of Rock the Casbah made the experience absolutely insane for first time listeners/viewers. He's expanded his arsenal to include other percussive instruments as well, like a tambourine, egg-rattles(or whatever they're called) etc. The darbuka is to ADP what, say the violin is to the Dave Mathhews Band. You take it away, the song still stands, but with it; it's golden.

Ali Alam is one of our very own singer/songwriter people who's been blackmailed/coerced/fooled into joining ADP(if oba's blog is anything to go by). As a result ADP has acquired a real asset. Ali plays guitar, hence he can provide the rhythms that were missing whenever OBA soloed and hence fills up the sound very nicely. He also has his own songs which I'm a big fan of too. As much as the ADP original originals actually. Hum Na Rahey(Mere Masoom Dost) is amazing. There is no other word for it. Plus his vocal talents help in the backing vocals department too when OBA does his songs and again, fuller sound, greater impact. So much so that now ADP shows involve an audience being hit by a wall of sound in nearly each song. Ali Alam's songwriting skills are also spot on and his coming into the fold as it were, will help ADP in churning out good songs with more ease as compared to a situation where only one person has to do all the writing.

Finally, Rahayl Sidikey. He does bass. And backing vocals. And he does them well.

Originally coming into the spotlight as the only member of Mizraab who looked like a metalhead and not a nerd, Rahayl was asked to join ADP after he played a gig with OBA as part of The Big Cheese and was set to play at the Shanaakht festival with ADP. The fellas liked his chops and 2+2=5, he's in. This guy is badass. I mean he just looks it.

Plus since ADP now has a dedicated bass player, their live act is tighter and sounds bigger than before. Add that to the larger number of people shouting their lungs out in big choruses(THREE!!), the wall of sound thing applies more than ever. Being a bass player myself, I think Rahayl's addition was a real coup for the others since he's really solid and now everyone has a chance to just do their own thing without worrying about any other member since everyone has a dedicated job and they're balls up awesome at it.

And thus we reach the end. This originally started out as a port about when Flam! opened for ADP but it sortve veered off in the start and I thought I'd let it go where it wanted to. No apologies for the cheap pictures. I shall use the "I'm too punk rock for.." Photoshop, excuse. Works everytime.

Mere masoom dost
Tum kyun gum sum rahey
Jese main, jese tum
Jese hum na rahay

Iss khamoshi se
Tum kyun lartey rahey
Jese main, jese tum
Jese hum na rahay

Oh Holy shit..

2009-08-09T09:52:00.000-07:00

One day Saad Khaleel calls me and tells me the Aunty Disco Project have an upcoming show and I should ask OBA if we can open for them. My immediate reaction is "we suck they rule this is not going to work nor happen". Regardless, I call OBA and he says, being the nice guy that he is, that he doesn't see any major issue and will get back to me tomorrow after he's gone over it with the others because the only consideration at the moment is that bands in the past have not really helped because they dampened the mood and were sort've boring which he hoped we wouldn't be. My immediate reaction to this is "okay he's not turning me down straight up because he doesn't want me to cry in a corner and then die of suck-caused shame". He calls me tomorrow and says we're good to go.

Oh shit.

Enter Shikari.
No. Wait.

Enter Farhad Khalid. Drummer dude from IBA(and LUMS, yeah double majors in drumtasticality, biatch!) who's wrapping up his internship at Engro Foods(Owsum!) and wants to jam. How conveniently timely. We say yes. We rope in guitar cheeta Ali Ahsan, student of the student of Faraz Anwer, who's only purpose with a guitar is to rip like there's no tomorrow and even if there is he's not going to play some cheap-ass John Mayer bends while he's Waiting on the World to Change(which isn't that cool since I'm a huge Mayer fan, but chalo).

And so it is settled. Saad, Ali, Farhad and yours truly. Flam! version 1.47(...beta). We're scheduled to open the show for the awesomely bombtastic A.D.P. at the Rangoonwala Hall on Sunday the 16th of August.

When I started to write this entry, I planned to talk about how nervous I was and how I hoped we'd do good and how I hoped we'd sell some tickets and not look like douches when I return the two booklets ADP's manager Aamir Rauf(really helpful guy) gave to me, untouched.

Now I'm not so sure. Now I'm thinking I should just focus on what the priority is, the gig. The actual show and the preparation leading upto it. Don't get me wrong, opening for ADP is serious business since they are at the top of their game with a new lineup and everything and have blastacular songs to boot. They are going to be overshadowing us from the get-go without even having played a single song. We have to go fucking nuclear and abosolutely kill every song and even then we might not benefit in any tangible way. But it is doable. Our songs might work. I'd be more sure about that were they not untested, like our rearranged lineup. But hope remains while we stick to our shit and unleash sonic Flam!alities on the unwitting audience.

That's what I'm placing my bets on. Come sunday, we kick ass and make sure that ADP don't even come close to the mere thought process required to begin to regret giving us the green light.

Clean shirt, new shoes
And I dont know where I am goin to.
Silk suit, black tie,
I dont need a reason why.
They come runnin just as fast as they can
Coz every girl crazy bout a sharp dressed man.

NFP meets Sean Kingston

2009-07-27T15:45:00.001-07:00

Nadeem Farooq Peracha is this journalist/social commentator person who's articles are featured regularly in the Dawn newspapers. He often writes articles involving some sort of conversation, usually exaggerating truths and situations and nearly always seeming nut. Sean Kingston is this black american singer/rapper/something dude. I heard Sean's song and somehow this is what my mind came up with.

Somebody call 911
Shawty fire burning on the dance floor
Whoa
I gotta cool her down
She won't bring the roof to ground on the dance floor
Whoa
She’s fire burning, fire burning on the dance floor
That little shawty’s fire burning on the dance floor
Shes fire burning fire burning on the dance floor
That little shawty’s fire burning on the dance floor
Fire burning fire burning

911: Hello, please state your emergency.

Me: Um yeah, I've been requested to notify you of a potential safety hazard..?

911: Yes sir, please go on.

Me: Okay so....it's one of two things.

911: Okay...

Me: Yeah see, theres either a midget covered in plasma(the hot liquid gas kind) on the dance floor causing things to spontaneously combust or theres somebody who's not very tall with an out of control arson fetish. Also on the dance floor.

*click*

Me: Hello..?

I believe the world is burning to the ground
Oh well I guess we're gonna find out
Let's see how far we've come

Let's see how far we've come

a day in the life of... Pakistan..

2009-06-17T19:44:00.000-07:00

It is close to 9 am on Thursday the 18th of June that I start writing this. Power has just been restored to my locality after an outage of some 8.5 hours. Many areas in Karachi remain blacked out. Well, not so much since the night has passed and the sun is up but you know what I mean.

Usually I don't get up this early, I sleep at around 6 or 7 am and wake up sometime in the afternoon and on occasion, in the evening. Practicing to be a rockstar, you see. Since however, there was no power all night, there wasn't much for me to do while staying up hence I pseudo-slept the night away. I woke up at around 8am and started looking for things to do when I spied the newspaper lying at my door. Feeling this would be a good way to while away some time while I waited for the KESC, WAPDA and GOD..I mean, God, to concentrate their efforts in a way that power is returned, I thought I'd look throught it.

Depression ensued.

The following is a list of notable reports and excerpts as taken from the Dawn website.

Storm robs Karachi of electricity for hours:

All but entire Karachi plunged into darkness for several hours on Wednesday evening after a thunderstorm hit Pepco’s Jamshoro-Dadu and Jamshoro-Hub lines.

All generating units of the KESC, IPPs and KANUPP collapsed, disabling the city’s link with the national grid.

...According to KESC sources, the tripping in transmission lines at about 6.30pm robbed the system of about 600MW fed by Pepco’s network, crippling the entire generation, transmission and distribution network.

All units of Bin Qasim thermal power station, Korangi thermal power plants, Korangi gas turbines, independent power producers and the Karachi Nuclear Power Plant stuttered to a halt.

..The Bin Qasim plant generates over 1,000MW at a de-rated capacity while Wapda supplies about 700MW to KESC daily. The shortfall in KESC system was 1500MW late on Wednesday night.

The sudden power failure brought work at the Karachi Airport and major hospitals to a halt. Vehicular traffic faced gridlocks and congestions on major arteries of the city as traffic signals stopped working.

With maximum temperature at 35.9 degree centigrade and humidity at 62 per cent on Wednesday, people in various areas suffered at least two spells of loadshedding till evening.

Government announces phase-wise increase in power tarriff

ISLAMABAD: The government announced on Wednesday that till the end of the next fiscal year, electricity tariff would be increased in phases by at least 17 per cent as part of a condition in the IMF bailout package.

During a post-budget briefing to Senate’s standing committee on finance, Finance Secretary Salman Sadiq said: ‘We will take up the issue of allowing subsidy on electricity for lifeline consumers with officials of the International Monetary Fund in a meeting in Dubai on June 28.’

Governor State Bank Saleem Raza hinted that mark-up rates might be reduced in the wake of a reduction in inflation. The decision is likely to be announced in July along with the monetary policy.

However, he warned that low interest rates, ‘huge allocations for development projects and increase in wages’ might spur demand, leading to an increase in inflation. The annual inflation is expected to come down to 12.5 per cent by the end June 2009.

Govt, opposition spar on budget in NA

ISLAMABAD: The Opposition in the National Assembly on Wednesday blasted the government for making budget ‘overly dependent on foreign aid’, and lawmakers from treasury benches defended the government’s economic policies.

Abdul Qadir Patel from Karachi said: ‘If none of the critics can say that the next year’s budget is worse than the one for outgoing fiscal year, it means there is an improvement in government’s performance’.

He prompted desk thumping by his party colleagues when he denied allegations of corruption and said that he had never encountered anyone who was trying to ‘sell any ministry’.

Khurram Dastagir Khan of PML-N said: ‘If previous government was a failure in achieving self-reliance in economy, this government is worse.’

He said: ‘In a country where 123.4 million people live below poverty line on less than $2 a day, provision of Rs1,000 under the Benazir Income Support Programme to 50 million people will not work wonders.’

Mr Khan said heavy increases in prices of gas, electricity and petroleum products had hiked prices of all essential items and food inflation had reached 34.4 per cent.

He alleged that Wapda had used only Rs31 billion out of Rs62 billion earmarked for it in the current year’s PSDP, negating the government’s claims that it wanted to resolve power shortage. He also criticised the government of sparing the agriculture sector from direct taxation.

Police, power distribution depts most corrupt

KARACHI: The money Pakistanis spend on bribes has increased from Rs45 billion in 2002 to Rs195 billion in 2009, according to a survey carried out by the Transparency International Pakistan.

The survey report entitled ‘National Corruption Perception Survey 2009’ —indicates that police and power supply departments maintain their position as the two most corrupt sectors in the country.

The judiciary’s ranking has improved in the period under review. It ranked seventh in 2009, third in 2006 and fourth in 2002.

Customs and taxation departments have also improved their rankings since 2006. Work on the survey, involving responses from 5,200 people, began in February and ended in April of this year.

According to the report, people believed that health and land departments were also quite corrupt. Sixty-six per cent of the respondents said the existing local government system was more corrupt than the system it replaced.

About 60 per cent of the respondents said government functionaries and armed forces personnel should not be involved in commercial activities.

According to its findings, Defence Purchase Division, Military Engineering Services and Defence Housing Authorities were largest violators of rules under the Public Procurement Regulatory Authority Ordinance of 2002, which in itself was not performing its statutory obligations.

The Securities and Exchange Commission of Pakistan, the privatisation ministry and the State Bank refuse to be governed under PPRA Ordinance.

Petroleum products, CNG to become costlier

ISLAMABAD: Amid the rising trend on international markets, the local petroleum rates would be revised upward by over 10 per cent after the ‘carbon surcharge’ goes effective from July 1 after the budget 2009-10 is approved by the National Assembly. Compressed natural gas (CNG) would also become dearer.

Informed sources in the finance ministry told Dawn on Wednesday that the petroleum ministry had already calculated the new petrol price at around Rs62 per litre, high speed diesel at Rs60 per litre, HOBC at Rs78 per litre.

The prices of kerosene and light diesel oil (LDO) will also go up, sources in the petroleum ministry said, adding the CNG would be selling at Rs55 per kg.

Cell firms to withdraw SMS offers

LAHORE, June 17: After imposition of 20-paisa tax per SMS, the cellular companies are likely to withdraw their discount packages from July 1.

“It will not be possible for us to continue with the bundle package offers in the wake of fresh tax,” a representative of a cellular company told Dawn on Wednesday.

He said though the government in the federal budget 2009-10 had reduced the general sales tax and SIM activation charges from 21 per cent to 19 per cent and Rs500 to Rs250, respectively, 20-paisa increase on per SMS would not only burden subscribers but also affect the business of such companies that had introduced packages at cheaper rates.”

“At the end of the day it will be clear that the government has not provided us with any relief,” an official of another company said.

It is learnt that the cellular companies are joining hands against tax on SMS and will register their protest with the government shortly.

The Pakistan Telecommunication Authority has welcomed the concessions given to the telecom industry.

“We do not see any major impact of SMS tax on the industry. However, we will conduct a study in this regard after a certain period,” PTA chairman Dr Muhammad Yasin told this reporter.

“It will be premature to say that 20-paisa per SMS tax has negative impact on the industry,” he said.

Though the cellular companies are perturbed over the new tax but they can only register their concern with the respective quarters through PTA.

The cellular industry had generated a revenue of Rs278 billion in 2007-08.

The previous taxation rate on the cellular services (15 per cent) was already one of the highest in the region.

Owing to stiff competition among the cellular operators in the country, lower tariff had been introduced to attract maximum number of subscribers. Telecom sector, according to PTA, has attracted more than US$5.6 billion foreign direct investment during the last four years.

During 2007-08, the telecom sector attracted a sum of US$1.4 billion foreign direct investment which is about 30 per cent of the total FDI in the country. During 2007-08, the telecom industry ranked second after financial sector as major FDI recipient in Pakistan.

Swat residents are ‘short of everything’, warns ICRC

GENEVA: Civilians in the Swat valley are ‘short of everything,’ the International Committee of the Red Cross said Wednesday.

The ICRC, which claims to be the only international humanitarian agency currently operating in Swat and nearby Dir, said it was starting to distribute food for some 40,000 people in and around Swat’s main city, Mingora.

It cautioned that its ability to deliver food would depend on the security situation, AFP reports.

‘They are short of everything and will need help until the situation stabilises,’ he added in an information note.

Fighting has been continuing in Swat and Lower Dir districts, where Pakistani security forces launched an anti-Taliban offensive in late April.

About two million people have fled their homes and escaped to safer parts of Pakistan since the offensive began in the Northwest Frontier Province.

---------

Pakistan zindabad.

The Evolution of Dance.

2009-06-11T15:30:00.000-07:00

A way to shirk blogging duties further. Who cares anyway?

Part 1

# Hound Dog - Elvis Presley Elvis Presley - Hound Dog - Hound Dog

# The Twist - Chubby Checker Chubby Checker - Chubby Checker Classics - The Twist

# Stayin' Alive - The Bee Gees The Bee Gees Tribute Band - Smooth Sax Tribute to the Bee Gees - Stayin' Alive

# Y.M.C.A. - The Village People Village People - Disco Gold - Y.M.C.A.

# Kung Fu Fighting - Carl Douglas Carl Douglas - The Soul of the Kung Fu Fighter - Kung Fu Fighting

# Keep On - The Brady Bunch The Brady Bunch - Man With a Movie Camera - Keep On

# Greased Lightnin' - John Travolta John Travolta - Grease - Deluxe Edition - Greased Lightnin'

# You Shook Me All Night Long - AC/DC AC/DC Tribute Band - Hip-Hop Tribute to AC/DC - You Shook Me All Night Long

# Billie Jean - Michael Jackson Michael Jackson - The Essential Michael Jackson - Billie Jean

# Thriller - Michael Jackson Michael Jackson - The Essential Michael Jackson - Thriller

# Oompa Loompa - Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory Harry Connick, Jr. - Songs I Heard - Oompa Loompa (not the EOD version)

# Mr. Roboto - Styx Styx - Styx: Greatest Hits - Mr. Roboto

# Break Dance (Electric Boogie) - West Street Mob West Street Mob - The Sugar Hill Records Story - Break Dance (Electric Boogie)

# Walk Like An Egyptian - The Bangles The Bangles - The Essential Bangles - Walk Like an Egyptian

# The Chicken Dance - Bob Kames Bob Kames and The Happy Organ - The Chicken Dance (Dance Little Bird) - The Chicken Dance (Dance Little Bird) [Instrumental]

# Mony Mony - Billy Idol Billy Idol - Billy Idol: Greatest Hits - Mony Mony

# Ice Ice Baby - Vanilla Ice Vanilla Ice - To the Extreme - Ice Ice Baby

# U Can't Touch This - MC Hammer M.C. Hammer - M.C. Hammer: Greatest Hits - U Can't Touch This

# Love Shack - The B-52's The B-52's - Nude on the Moon - The B-52's Anthology - Love Shack

# Apache - The Sugarhill Gang The Sugarhill Gang - The Essentials: The Sugarhill Gang - Apache

# Jump Around - House of Pain House Of Pain - The Best of House of Pain and Everlast: Shamrocks & Shenanigans - Jump Around

# Baby Got Back - Sir Mix-A-Lot Sir Mix-a-Lot - Mack Daddy - Baby Got Back

# Tubthumping - Chumbawamba Chumbawamba - Tubthumper - Tubthumping

# What Is Love - Haddaway Haddaway - Haddaway - What Is Love

# Cotton Eye Joe - Rednex Rednex - Malcolm In the Middle - Cotton Eye Joe

# Macarena - Los Del Rio Los Del Rio - Fiesta Macarena - Macarena

# Bye Bye Bye - N'Sync *NSYNC - *NSYNC: Greatest Hits - Bye Bye Bye

# Lose Yourself - Eminem Eminem - 8 Mile - Lose Yourself

# Hey Ya! - Outkast OutKast - Now That's What I Call Music!: #1's - Hey Ya!

# Dirt Off Your Shoulder - Jay-Z Jay-Z Tribute Band - Tribute to Jay-Z - Dirt Off Your Shoulder

# Ice Ice Baby - Vanilla Ice ("Yo, let's get outta here. Word to your mother") Vanilla Ice - To the Extreme - Ice Ice Baby

# Bye Bye Bye - N'Sync ("Bye, bye, bye")

Part 2

0:00 Ryan Dalton - Introduction
0:10 James Brown - "I Got You (I Feel Good)"
0:31 The Temptations - "My Girl"
0:40 Ike and Tina Turner - "Proud Mary"
0:50 Van McCoy - "The Hustle"
0:55 The Hit Crew - "Hokey Pokey"
1:09 Otis Day and the Knights - "Shout" (originally by The Isley Brothers)
1:21 The Champs - "Tequila"
1:31 The Proclaimers - "I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles)"
1:39 Technotronic - "Pump Up The Jam"
1:57 Right Said Fred - "I'm Too Sexy"
2:12 Marcia Griffiths - "Electric Boogie"
2:33 En Vogue - "My Lovin' (You're Never Gonna Get It)"
2:43 69 Boyz - "Tootsee Roll"
2:57 DJ Slide - "Cha Cha Slide"
3:17 Terror Squad - "Lean Back" (featuring Fat Joe and Remy Martin)
3:24 OK GO - "Here It Goes Again"
3:33 Fergie - "London Bridge"
3:43 Soulja Boy Tell 'Em - "Crank That (Soulja Boy)"
4:00 Otis Day and the Knights - "Shout" (originally by The Isley Brothers)
4:02 Right Said Fred - "I'm Too Sexy"

purpose

2009-05-07T16:45:00.000-07:00

I was reading this Reader's Digest article that's in the May 2009 Asia edition about this German dude who's been biking the shit out of the world and doing God knows what like running and climbing mountains and everything so as to raise awareness and money for AIDS victims. I mean, he covered literally 23 THOUSAND kilometers in 35 days. I mean, holy shit. I get tired DRIVING 60 kilometers in one day and..damn.

Then there's this dude who's making this boat out of plastic coke bottles and some other weird plastic thing and planning to cross the PACIFIC OCEAN in it so as to raise awareness about pollution and global warming and the shit it's causing.

That really makes me think about what my contribution to the world will be. I mean, what difference will I be making in the world at large if, and that's a significant 'if', I accomplish the goals I've set and have been set for me and shit? Sure the boat guy inherited a huge fortune but the German was an overweight smoker drinker person who worked in a VW plant! There are other stories too about people helping others and trying to make the world a better place. It's all well and good to have success and a comfortable life for one's self and one's family and stuff but by the time I've grown up there will be around 7 BILLION people on the planet. Even on a smaller scale there'll be 200 million people on Pakistan or smaller yet, 30-35 million in Karachi! What will I have done or what can I do for them? If I end up a filthy rich CFO/CEO/whateverthehell by the time I'm 60..what will all that mean in the broader view of things?

Flam! updates:

We did a gig at IBA towards the end of last month. Saad and I, that is. Instrumental only. Played this blues jam and an interpretation of Explosions in the Sky's style of music. Was pretty fun. Also, we're sort've recording our songs at the moment. Where and how I'm not sure if I should say.

Owais is leaving on the 17th to join the army, Anes is also no longer with us. Saad will do vocals until and unless a suitable singer is found, we might need another guitarist as a result. Hope stuff works out for us. I plan to turn this shit into high gear as soon as my exams are over.

Don't give this hate a chance
We've got all this love to give, you know
That this dream's alive, we’ll still survive
Until no more people have to cry

PS: I've grown a deep affection for Jamiroquai's work. It's a really nice band.

dear, dear me..

2009-04-25T16:25:00.001-07:00

Listening to Explosions in the Sky makes any experience, no matter how ordinary, seem transcendent.

The Only Moment We Are Alone

Your Hand In Mine

I am absolutely in love with this band as of late.

The PPP attacks the Shanaakht Festival, destroys the exhibit at the Arts Council

2009-04-08T11:05:00.000-07:00

This is taken from Omar Bilal Akhtar(OBA of ADP)'s blog:

The PPP attacks the Shanaakht Festival, destroys the exhibit at the Arts Council

We have just been informed that a few hours ago, around 7:3o pm Pakistan time, a large mob of PPP activists stormed the Arts Council which was hosting the Shanaakht Festival. The mob was protesting the display of a photograph in the art exhibit section that showed a photo-shopped image of an infant Benazir Bhutto sitting in the lap of General Zia-Ul-Haq.

The mob destroyed the entire exhibit and physically threatened the workers of The Citizens Archive and all the volunteers/workers for the Shanaakht Festival.

We were slated to perform on the final day of the festival along with Fuzon, Noori, Taal Karisma and The Kolachi Quartet. As of right now,all the events for all the days of the Shanaakht Festival, has been cancelled.

Now that I've given you the news, I can't begin to tell you depth of the anger me and my band members are feeling. The Shanaakht Festival is extremely close to our hearts as well as the people organizing it. We performed at the original one and we were looking forward to sharing the stage with our idols Noori and Fuzon. We are sitting in my living room, and I have been on the verge of tears on numerous occasions. Some of my closest friends were in The Arts Council when they were attacked by the mob. According to them, the more they pleaded with the mob to stop the more they destroyed.

There is no difference between the militants in the North and the Pakistan People's Party today. None. We have two groups of people who have spread a doctrine of hate, intolerance and violence. The people who were putting this show together have been working at it for the last 2 years. It was by the people of Pakistan for the people of Pakistan. The theme of the show was 'identity' and we were looking to establish, ro take back the Pakistani identity. I guess all we have to show for it now is an identity of violence and victimization.

If the show goes on Aunty Disco Project will perform. We stand right behind The Citizens Archive and Sharmeen Obaid.

I feel personally attacked. We cannot believe that the concern of our parents which we keep dismissing has been vindicated. They have attacked our show, and our people, our friends.

For those of you who are going to come and say that it was stupid to put that picture up in the first place, you may be justified in your thinking, but there is NO justification for the kind of violence that happened as a result.

Today they attacked ART. They attacked culture and humanity. But worst of all, they attacked and threatened innocent people who were trying to do something good for this country.

I have no more words, except my love and support to the people of The Citizens Archive.

the state of the nation

2009-04-05T00:25:00.000-07:00

Yeah. It's rant time.

The following is what I remember from today's newspaper:

Flogging in Swat:

A 17 year old girl gets publicly flogged in Swat, an area that used to be a tourist resort and is now taken over by Taliban and similar fundie fags. A situation the government has all but officially given up on. The Taliban deny they flogged the girl, admit they did flog somebody else.

Domestic quarrel leads to violence:

Some dudes in Karachi mutilate their aunt/stepmother/motherinlaw and leave her hospitalized and in very bad shape. I forget the argument but I think money was involved.

Bomb blast in Islamabad:

An alleged suicide attack takes place outside a popular Islamabad supermarket. I don't think anyone died.

Encroachment rampant in Nazimabad:

Nazimabad is an area in Karachi. Some peolpe have taken over a public park and in the space of a year (2004-2005) managed to construct a number of buildings on it. I counted around 30 in the "satellite" photo shown. The local government is aware of this yet no measures are being taken.

...and then there's this:

ZAB still deserves apology:

Some French journalist dude tells some people at some conference that Zulfikar Ali Bhutto deserves an apology for the shit deal he got at his time.

I mean, who gives a flying fuck about the apology?! Is there NOTHING more important in the country at this time?? Why is this country to brain dead? SO much shit is going on ALL the fucking time why doesnt anybody give a shit?? The government and the opposition spend months and months and millions of rupees on the so-called fight for the judiciary(which was actually just a result of Punjab not really being in the government per-se and them realising they had to pull some shit to get back into power, and NOT a nationwide uprising) and removal of governers rule and this and that WHEN THE HELL IS TERRORISM AND CRIME AND CORRUPTION AND ALL THIS OTHER CRAP IN THIS DISASTER OF A NATION GOING TO BECOME AN ISSUE WORTHY OF CONSIDERATION?!?!

We live in dark times, made darker still by the silent majority that refuses to move a muscle. We deserve all the insults we get for regardless of how many are untrue, there are more that are true and as yet unspoken.

jiya jale, jaan jale
naynon tale dhuaan jhale
raat bhar dhuaan jhale

the great gig on the second floor, by pink flam.

2009-03-22T11:00:00.000-07:00

Finally i get the time to pay attention to this here bloj. Time to blab!

The Second Floor gig:

So as I mentioned a few posts ago, we were invited by the great Omar Bilal to play at The Second Floor and help them raise money to help them move and stuff. Which we were pretty excited about. The set-list was as follows:

Covers(english):
Blur - Song2
Backstreet Boys - Larger than Life (oh we so did)
HIM - Wicked Game
HIM - Killing Loneliness
Live - Lightening Crashes
U2 - Where the Streets Have No Name

Covers(urdu):
Awaz - Jaadu ka Chiragh
Fringe Benefits - Tanhai Mein Chain
Junoon - Heeray

Originals:
Shab-e-Hijr
Tuu Haseen
Paas

We had a keyboard player brought in in the form of Sohaib Ali of IBA, holy shit is that guy nuts lol. He was supposed to play this wicked keyboard medley of Lateralus, Vicarious and the Stairway to Heaven solo thingy.

The only concern we had was we wouldn't really be able to get people to show up. We'd seen this happen on the 7on3rd show, which was part of the same series of events and also on the Spoonful gig. So it wasn't really a suprise that 125 people confirmed on facebook, 160 were maybes and only about 50 showed up. The number of attendees was pretty consistent with the figures the above bands gained but considering that we had more time to publicise and shit it was sortve depressing. I guess being a relatively unknown band worked against us. Though why would people confirm shit when they dont plan to come? Thats just lame.

A lot of friends didn't show up either for stupid last minute non-reasons such as 10 people waiting for one of them to take the initiative and declare they're going and only then would the others join in. Sheep. This lent further credence to the fact that we can't really depend on friends to keep supporting us forever if we are to be a band seriously.

The show went okay. Started really late though. It was supposed to go at 830pm, we accounted to people being tardy and thought 9 would be cool. The audience showed us up and arrived a further 30minutes late. This and the issues with the sound setup due to either our or their equipment and mutual understanding levels led us to cut around 3 songs from the setlist since we wanted to wrap up by 1030pm.

This also led us to a sort've shaky start since sound setup issues always acts like a needle busting into the balloon that is our confidence, but we managed to pickup the pace and by the time we were around 4 songs down we were playing hard and fast without a care in the world. A few screwups did go down and some were noticeable but most were covered up. All in all it was fun. Here are a few pictures from the show:

Other stuff:

Since the recent flurry of gigs and my newfound interest in the music scene revolving around The Second Floor, I thought we should take a few pointers from the people in Lahore and create our own version of "The System". Apart from being something with an unimaginative name, that is also the operation of sorts where musicians don't wait around for sponsors and stuff in these trying economic times and through a proper organization and fraternity of sorts make their own gigs. Which makes a lot of sense and though people do already make their own gigs happen, there is no structuring and hence a lot of randomness and inefficiency. Since nobody would listen to me I forwarded the idea to the OBA today and yeah so now this is me waiting to see it something works out.

By the way, a shout out to all to The Heebie Jeebies. An awesome awesome jam band made up partly of the people from Spoonful and a few other dudes. These guys are amazingly skilled and really cool musicwise too. Hope to see them around for a long time to come.

Monday will see us going to The Open Mic Night and playing without our singer, Anes. He's sick and has been so for a few days since he insists on taking stupid homoeopathic medicines. Hope stuff works out and we and the audience has fun. Seeing as how this is going to be it gig-wise for a while to come, we need to make a few good impressions so that in future people arent too unsure about helping us out if we need them to.

Oh it's heartache every moment
From the start 'til the end
It's heartache every moment
With you
Deeper into our heavenly suffering
Our fragile souls are falling
It's heartache every moment
Baby with you

When two people like the same girl.

2009-03-21T01:35:00.000-07:00

R.Kelly feat. Usher - Same girl

Flight of the Conchords - I'm in Love With a Sexy Lady

Flight of the Conchords are super hilarious lol. Usher and R.Kelly are lame.

of devils and demon women..

2009-03-11T10:33:00.000-07:00

Cliff Richard - Devil Woman

Flight of the Conchords - Demon Woman

What I've been upto

2009-03-08T14:58:00.000-07:00

I realized I haven't been blogging about a lot of stuff thats happened recently and trust me a lot has happened. It's mainly band related and a little bit of other stuff too. Till I get time to post about everything properly, I'll brush over the band stuff in the form of an update I sent to our fans on Facebook.

News thus far and new media incoming!

Today at 2:42am

Flam! has been having a really busy time this past couple of weeks! Shows on the 26th, 27th and 28th of February and also on the 8th of March! Below is a list of the places we went and brought the thunder!

26th Feb- Azaad Foundation/UNICEF International Children's Broadcasting Day acoustic gig at an Azaad Foundation school for under privileged children(made possible through our friends at Radio1 FM91)

27th Feb- Eventus Battle of Bands(we didn't but kicked ass nevertheless and made lots of new phans!)

28th Feb- IBA SpringFest! We opened for Call!(thank you Luqman Mubashir)

8th March - IBA Charity Carnival! Brought the house down, won lots of fans, played a brand new original that everybody loved and opened for Shehzad Roy all in the same night!(thank you Farhaad mon)

UPCOMING INSANITY!!

Flam! takes over The Second Floor(t2f) for a night on the 20th of March as part of their series of fundraising shows held throughout this month to help them through the tribulations of vacating their current premises and moving to their new location sometimes in mid-2009! All details can be found here:

http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=66016236094&ref=mf

You already know about this but what the heck we're still going to convince you. Expect firstly, a lot of songs. Among them we'll be doing originals, covers of yours and our favourite artistes as well as our special do-over versions of famous Pakistani singles from yesteryears! Don't miss out and drag your friends along kicking and screaming. They'll thank you later. Or kill you. Hopefully the former.

NEW MEDIA:

We'll be uploading pictures from all the above mentioned events that have gone through real soon so check out page when we start yelling about it.

So yeah. That's that.

I got my head checked
By a jumbo jet
It wasn't easy
But nothing is no

Nobody pays? Play for charity!

2009-02-28T02:58:00.000-08:00

After a spate of inactivity since the accursed Oktoberfest show, Flam! managed to score not one but TWO shows. Three actually but two have gone through, the third is tonight and what not so yeah. This is about them.

Radio1FM91 Azaad Foundation/UNICEF Children's Broadcasting Day

Since I know all of y'all have read and memorized the RJing post, I'd like to draw your collective attentions to the events happening in it. Specifically the stuff happening at the benign-sounding "4-ish" time spot. When I was reviewing my voice over stuff with Dennis the Sound Menace, a certain Anita(I don't know her last name, I know I suck) walked in. Anita I happened to recognise from the ADP Nando's show I yelled about here. She was introduced(to them not me, I was just eavesdropping, heehee) as somebody from FM91 and she would like a picture with ADP and I happened to be the person in the immediate vicinity who happened to take that picture.

So I started talking to her. It began rather aimlessly with me just trying to be friendly and ending up sounding weird since I told her that I recognised her from the ADP show and then I just stood there. Hehe she even said something like "Yeah that was me..so...um?". I was mentally kicking myself at this point and wondering why I started this. I made a lame joke about random useless information to escape the situation. Then she asked me where I was from. Here my brain went all patriotic and was urging me to say PAKISTAN. Somehow I knew that's not what she meant. She elaborated khudi se and asked if I was in a band or what and I said yeah I was but I was at the Nando's gig as a friend of ADP.

That's not a lie okay!! I know them, they recognize me BOOM we're friends!! Stop judging me.

Then she asked how much we charge and I said nothing because well, we don't. Not yet anyway. She got all interested suddenly, took my number and all even and told me about this little event coming up at this Azaad Foundation thing in relation with UNICEF and this and that. Stuff I promptly forgot. All I remembered was her telling me she'll be in touch.

She msged the next day and asked if we were free on the 25th and 26th. 25th we were 26th we weren't. Okay cool. Then it turned out that it was only on the 26th. Crap. Emergency measures were taken, Saad and Anes planned to bunk an IBA class, I planned to run away from home again, Owais we didn't tell as usual. We arranged for a soundsystem. Planned our songs. Everything was ready. Except we didn't know where we were supposed to go. Anita had told me vaguely but as always I'd forgotten that too. I looked up the Azaad Foundation people on the net and somehow got the number of the place we were to go to. The person on the phone there gave me an address too. Which I didn't understand. I am so inept.

The day of the...um...on that day chalo, yeah so on that day it turns out that the sound person who was to be there at 10, had reached the vicinity by 10 but couldn't find the place. We gave him the number of the school itself and they didn't reach him for half an hour. We were supposed to be there by 11. We got lost too and got there by 1130. Why isn't there a Google Maps thingy for Karachi!? Sigh. Anyway, we found the place after we got to one of those blasted chowrangis and then sent someone to point us int he right direction. We got there only to find out that the sound people had also only just arrived. It would easily be another half hour till they got set up and all. Saad started to get tense, seeing as how he had to be at Anees Hussain by 1230 and it was already 1150.

I chatted randomly with Anita. She told me this was being done for the UNICEF International Children's Broadcasting Day transmissions and the Azaad Foundation helpd school underprivelaged children and all. Twas a nice idea and a nicer gesture. Heh, our first pseudo charity gig.

It eventually did start and the children were all very eager. I felt pretty bad for them. They were all regular kids and but for the want of money they had to live lives in tattered clothes and unclean environs. I wonder when, if ever, we'll get around to living in a country with universal healthcare and education. Sad really.

The kids weren't really familiar with our music at all. They knew Indian stuff, we didn't. We did end up playing Pehli Nazar by Aatif. Saad the performer was enjoying himself. The children sang along to the chorus as loud as they could. Somehow that merged into Dil Dil Pakistan. They sang along to that too. Turned out to be quite fun.

After that was a mad dash to drop Saad to Anees Hussain, one hour late for a whole new batch no less. Anes to IBA and Owais back home. That wasn't fun at all. Too much driving for one day entirely. We even missed our interview with FM91! Gosh darn it!

the RJ journey begins!

2009-02-22T10:53:00.000-08:00

I know all of you have been paying attention hence I won't go into the details of how I want to be an RJ so that I may have some relation to the media and the arts in my life which I expect will be very boring. I'll just bring you up to speed on the very latest developments then get on with the qissa at hand.

City FM89:

This is where I want to go. Properly want, that too. I started properly listening to 89 on the way back from study sessions with the bilal-man a couple of months ago. I understood the tone of the station and the humour and generally got what the people on air were talking about. I even developed strong favourites such as Munizeh who does Rush Hour, Monday to Thursday from 5pm-7pm. Or OmarBilalAkhtar(yes the target of my stalking is an RJ too) who does Manic Monday which comes on Mondays(shockingly) from 9-10pm. Or Wes Malik on GenerationX from 9-10pm on Tuesdays or Amir Naseer on Retro89 from 9-10pm on Fridays. As you can see the 9-10pm slot is what I'm familiar with. I developed much respect for Munizeh who was really good at just being an RJ even though her show has no super-fixed direction, or OBA who is genuinely funny or AmirNaseer who's knowledge of retro music impressed me to no end. This gave a proper direction to my RJing dreams that had existed for a year now and my FM89 aspirations which were around koi 5-6 months se. Sadly FM89, as it turned out, wasn't really checking entries to their online RJ-hunt and I didn't know OBA till then.

Then I finally did meet him and he told me what to do as chronicled towards the end of this post and the waiting began.

Radio1 FM91:

Towards the end of this same post, I mention how I talked to Yasir about FM91, where he is an RJ. Though that meeting didn't come through, coincidentally FM91 launched an official RJ Hunt promotion. I found out about it through a few friends, all of whom had heard it and told me since they knew I would be interested. Now 91 is an okay channel too, but it has much more urdu than 89, which nearly doesn't. Nothing wrong with that but the problem is my humour and knowledge and well everything I would do as an RJ does not translate into urdu shows and urdu listeners. Hence I wasn't as interested in 91. Though I did listen to it's shows quite regularly and on a scale of 1 to 10 of my personal choice where 89 would be 9, 91 I'd put at around 7.5.

So I called them up and signed up for the thing. They said they'd get back to me in a bit.

And they did.

The FM91 adventure

I was told to show up on Friday at 3pm by some Iqbal person. I planned to get there on time, not early so that I wouldn't look over-eager.

230: I was in the area. Crap. Must waste time.

250: Got back after wasting some time getting credit and random driving around. Called Iqbal(he'd given me his number). It was busy. Damn. Went all NSA on his ass and called the number he'd called me from. Yes it was different. Was picked up by Beenish Khan, an RJ, who was in the middle of a show. Why'd she pick up the phone then! I worry I might've ruined her show. She said she'd send somebody when I told her I was here for a 3pm interview and was outside.

310: Still waiting. It's so hot outside and it's February. Thought for a bit about global warming.

315: Some dude comes to me, asks me if I'm Ali, smirks when he sees im sitting on the sidewalk and tells me to go on in. I go in and am told to sit in the waiting area. The couches are covered in plastic, this is the first time I've seen that outside of a movie. Also, they are yellow. Yes that yellow.

320: Iqbal comes up. His lips are red. Lipstick red. No I dont usually notice dudes' lips. But his were...bright. The color of blood that has nearly congealed. A dark shade of red. My eyes began to play tricks on me. He didn't seem gay, his clothes, gait and mannerisms were normal. I began to see shades of foundation around his eye/forehead area. I thought he must be acting for some tv thingy and told myself to stop stereotyping. He tells me he'll be with me in a bit after he sorts out some technical repair thingys that are ongoing. Ali Murtuza makes fun of me and notes that the khuari clock has been going on for 20minutes.

330: Iqbal returns. The interview begins. Which is basically a discussion. Yes my urdu is clear, yes I am aware 91 is 60% english and 40% urdu so as to gain a wider audience compared to 89. No I have no prior experience. Yes I am in this for the work and not the money(like I thought there'd be a lot of that). The dude's okay.

345: I'm sent into a room where a guy with dirty, curly, long hair, a raggedy stubbly beard, a black tshirt and lots of bracelets and chains is introduced as Dennis, the sound dude. He looked a joint away from being the stereotypical stoner dude. Nice. I'm given a paper with minglish promos for TV1 shows and told to take my time, read them over and do them whenever I'm ready.

4-ish: Dennis is alright. This shit is tough. Pauses, emphases, gaps, enunciation. Damn. I do around 10 takes of this stupid 3 line thing. Not to mention the many repetitions of words, phrases and stuff in there.

415: I'm asked to pretend I'm on a show and do something they call "links". Turns out its just the parts where the RJ talks. Intro, middle and end. Two songs after each. I'd only prepared for a monologue that'd fit into the middle. Took a long while and thought up an intro and conclusion too. Beenish Khan came in in the meanwhile and argued with Dennis the Sound menace about something he had to do for a show of hers or something.

430: I do a couple takes of the show thing. Come out to check my work, Iqbal comes in. His lipstick is missing. I tell me to quit being stupid. He tells me I should slow down, redo it. I do.

440: I'm done. Iqbal is Maybelline again. I don't get it. Maybe it's an allergy.. or red light shining in from somewhere? No..why am I even thinking about this?! He tells me he'll get to me asap once he's heard the stuff and others have too. I realize 91 does not have a rock show. 89 and 96 do. Aha! Opportunity! I tell him I'm waiting on 89, what should I do in case they call me? He says I should wait a couple of days for him. I tell him I'll go to the audition and they'll take a few days too to decide so it shouldn't be a problem if he gets to me(before them, I don't add. Heck 91 is cool but if 89 agrees to my timings I leave everything behind). I leave.

So there it is. OBA said he'd find out what my 89 deal was in a bit and I'll pester him in a very passive manner till I am not told. Hope something works out. Though I've realised that if 89 doesn't come through, I'm cool with 91.

C'mon Kage now it's time to blow doors down
I hear you Jables now it's time to blow doors down
Light up the stage cause its time for a showdown
We'll bend you over then we'll take you to Brown Tow
Now we've got to blow this fucker down
He's gonna rape me if we do not blow doors down
C'mon Kage cause it's time to blow doors down
Oh we'll piledrive ya, it's time for the smackdown
Hey anti-christ-er, Beelzeboss,
we know your weakness our rocket-sauce
we rock the casbah, and blow your mind
we will defeat you, for all mankind

you hold the scepter,
we hold the key
you are the devil,
we are the D

PS: If anyone from 91 reads this, please dont judge me. I just realized that this could screw with my aspirations and shit. Yeah, and shit. Like what if they kill me?!

just so all you shit-for-brains ignorant fools know;

2009-02-17T14:08:00.000-08:00

THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS "BAD" MUSIC! GET YOUR FUCKING HEADS OUT OF YOUR ASSES. YOUR PREFERENCES ARE NOT UNIVERSAL STANDARDS UPON WHICH YOU MAY JUDGE SOCIETY. I HAVE HAD IT UP TO HERE WITH YOU NARROWMINDED SHITS!

Whatever happened to the values of humanity
Whatever happened to the fairness in equality
Instead of spreading love we're spreading animosity
Lack of understanding, leading lives away from unity
That's the reason why sometimes I'm feeling under
Where is the love ¿

stuff that has made and still makes me high

2009-02-17T13:28:00.000-08:00

1-a particular bent note in Charlie by the Chili Peppers
2-the solo at the end of Comfortably Numb
3-listening to the Pick of Destiny with my eyes closed
4-getting over the threshold when I run and feel that I can go on forever and run to the horizon
5-watching people move to the music I make at a gig
6-making B laugh
7-the outro of one of my band's songs
8-laughing
9-my car, sharae-faisal during the Jumma prayer time and 120kmph
10-loud music and air musicianship(take air guitar and apply to every instrument) all over my house when everybody's gone
11-Your Hand in Mine by Explosions in the Sky
12-that time of night when everyone is asleep, in and outside of your house
13-watching The Dark Knight in the theater and hearing the main theme play through 20 speakers and my heart
14-the first time I saw bullet time all those years ago in Nasr Cinema in dubai in The Matrix
15-Fear of the Dark

Beautiful dawn - I'm just chasing time again.
Thought I would die a lonely man, in endless night.
But now I'm high; running wild among all the stars above.
Sometimes it's hard to believe you remember me.

the other blojz in the world

2009-02-15T14:46:00.000-08:00

Why is everyone so depressed? I mean, it's like everyone else has a bloj just to be mopey. I don't get it. It's not like my life is all peaches and cream, or in my case guitars and Porsches., but if I have a bloj and im going to write about something I'd eternally prefer happyness over sorrow, gloom, depression and well, general emo-ness. Everyone just has SO many problems its just SO impossible to write about anything else. Such self-importance is something I can not bring myself to feel.

I'm so darn glad He let me try it again,
'Cause my last time on earth I lived a whole world of sin.
I'm so glad that I know more than I knew then.
Gonna keep on tryin' till I reach the highest ground.

The day after Friday the 13th of February 2009.

2009-02-14T12:30:00.000-08:00

I feel like a bull, if they could see colours. I can't get the red out of my eyes. So..much...red.

I went to Park Towers, which is a mall in karachi. THERE WAS FRICKIN RED EVERYWHERE!!! And what the hell! Why do people wear red on Vday? WHY?? Are you a heart or something?? Even dudes! I saw three, no four guys with RED button down shirts! Why oh why.

Plus Valentine's day is so ugh. All super super sweet and sugary and lovey dovey and merchandised. It was all there was on the radio, on tv, on the street, on those God forsaken forward messages, EVERYWHERE. I listen to the radio a lot and I heard Truly, Madly, Deeply four times today! And that's just me! It must have been played some 73 times!*

While I am all for spreading love and good cheer, I think we should be a bit more coherent and think about people who need to be loved. I'm not talking about your family, friends and significant others. I mean other random people. Like the poor, like orphans, like whoever isn't shown in the media on the 14th of February because nobody wants to show stuff that takes the masses' minds of sheep-mentality consumerism.

It's days like this that the majority of people are revealed to be hollow and incapable of cognitive thought. We choose to forget so that we may indulge in stuff that might somehow be memorable. Whatever the criteria for that is.

Flam!updates:

We will probably probably be entering this battle of bands deal that is going to take place on the 27th. What we were initially trying for was this gig with another new-ish band where we'd keep it small and keep it real but the event management company, also a rookie deal, decided to go all out, scrapped the original plan and went for this big-ass deathmatch scenario. I hope we win. Or at least go further than round one lol. I've been in one other battle of bands and in that we didn't progress, surprisingly tight though we were. Anyway, hope for the best, expect the worst.

Oh, ACCA exam result comes on on Monday the 16th. Sigh. I don't think this week will be pretty. Again, hope for the best and expect the worst.

Never in the wrong time or wrong place
Desecration is the smile on my face
The love I made is the shape of my space
My face my face

*dont ask me how I came up with that number. I do not know.

PS: if you read this bloj sortve regularly how about you 'follow' it? it could save your life you know..........

the Jim, bharamzzZz and hookers

2009-02-10T07:33:00.000-08:00

I am out of shape. Not noticeably. Okay not very noticeably but yeah, look and shall see. Why you would I do not know. It is immaterial anyway. You are probably weird and will be one of the happier deaths to occur when Skynet takes over the world.

So anyway, I thought I should start running. Or jogging or whatever. I wasn't in the mood to go to a jim. I grabbed the ever-willing Aines McJaleelus and started a roughly 3km run, jog, walk and stagger, all in the same session at different points in time, routine. Everyday which then began every other day, from 7am to 8am.

I have since quit. The reason is not that I have achieved my goals, nor he his. I just got bored and dont have the necessary strength of will. To wakte up at 630am every day would mean I must sleep by a maximum of 12 midnight while I was used to staying up till 6am. So I quit. Aines will probably hate me for this.

Why didn't I join a jim? I dunno. Maybe because I didn't like the ones in the area, didn't have buddies to go with to the ones I did like in the area and also because I don't have the dough for the ones that are so amazing I could go alone. But there was a jim I used to go to a couple of years ago. This post is actually about that jim and it's instructor/administrator.

The jim in question was named Power Gym. It was across the road. I had two compadres with me, Abeer the Afridi(he is a pathan, his family used to live in Punjab and he supports the PPP which is a Sindhi political party at heart) and the Kenaan(he is not as interesting, which I think he is happy about).

We went quite regularly for a good 4 months. The instructor was a bigass Balochi dude named Fayyaz. This guy was BIG. Wait lemme see I think I have a picture of him..

Yeah so that's him. Lots of shadows in that picture but as you can see(and imagine) he was muscly, very.

So yeah he was our instructor and urged us all on intermittently. Regular jim dude duties. What was noteworthy was the stuff he did besides that. Which is the following:

Work 'n Curse:

When Fayyaz would work out he'd take off his shirt, revealing his musclyness and put on this tattered vest thingy, highlighting his musclyness further. I think he wanted to impress us. Which was quite unnecessary since the myriad of pictures in his office-cum-glass box area were sufficient to that end. Anyway, he'd start his routine with a few million stretches that covered in my opinion every possible muscle in his body. I mean, it just went on and on for a good 30mins. After that he started the real deal which ended up looking more like a vocal excercise than a ...well..other areas excercise. While doing the reps of whatever he'd scream at the top of his voice for all and sundry to witness the enthusiasm and effort the great Fayyaz was putting in. Stuff like "FUCK YOU!!", "MOTHERFUCKER!!!", "AARGH BASTARD!!", "FUCKER!!". This gave further credence to the idea that everyone learns the swearwords of a language first then the rest. It was also sufficiently jarring to us all that inevitably we ended up stopping everything and looking at him which I guess was the idea.

Bharambaazi-ing:

Now Fayyaz was a big, imposing dude. Yet he suffered from the usual big-body, small...err.. sense-of-manlihood complex that I have been told most such people suffer from. He would tell us these anecdotes exemplifying his amazingness as a god among men as often as he could.

One such incident involved him going to a Balochi wedding in Karachi. Upon his arrival he was lead to a table where there were a number of handguns and was asked to choose and fire at will. In the air ofcourse. The great Fayyaz, as you should know, obviously scoffs at such minisicule shows of power. He told the cretins that he was from the old country and in his village they had much bigger guns than these impotent excuses for firearms! Hah, I say! Hah!

And then he left. Which is what amazingly cool people like him do.

Play crappy music:

WHO THE HELL LISTENS TO KAJRA RE WHILE WORKING OUT!?!?!

Ask if we knew any hookers:

Firstly, I don't. Really. I swear. Sadl..I mean thankfully. Shareef to the core and all. Moving on! At times when Fayyaz would talk to us about the world as-we-did-not-know-it, he'd invariably end up at sex. I do not know why. Also he'd invariably end up hinting he was looking for, needed, required some form of sexual release by which im guessing he meant hookers. The conversation would go something like this:

Fayyaz: Haan yaar bas boht mehnat karni parti hai itni body k liye, din raat lage rehna parta hai blahblahblah

Me/us: Hmm waqayi Fayyaz bhai, lagraha hai....(go back to working out)

Fayyaz: Aaj kal lekin koi time lagane ko tayyaar nahin hota. Larke aaj kal k boht kharab hogaye hain. Larkiyon k peechhe bhagtey phirte hain gundey gundey kaam k chakkar mein.

Me/us: ....

Fayyaz: Ye bhi koi umar hai khud batao aap? Aap khud likhe parhe ho*, aapko bhi pata hoga ye ghalat hai. Tum logon ko tu nuqsaan hai, ye tu mujh jese logon ko chahiye hota hai. Hamare liye tu zuroori hai. Itni body honay k liye lazmi hota hai k kahin garmi nikaalein.

Me/us: ji ji bilkul...acha Fayyaz bhai chalte hain hum!

*most random people explaining stuff to me say this, I do not know whether I should take it as a compliment or not

I ended up leaving that jim, not for the above mentioned reasons, I was generally busy with exams and then too lazy to go back. Further exploits in local jims I find prohibitive though and that is because of the above mentioned stuff.

given a chance
i wanna be somebody
if for one dance
i wanna be somebody
open the door
it's gonna make you love me
facing the door
i wanna be somebody

Why there's a version 2.0

2009-02-07T11:55:00.000-08:00

Yes I know what everybody's been talking about. WHY is there a new bloj out? What when the last one was so perfectly amazing. I know I know. This is why.

I killed the last one.

By mistake.

See I originally made a blogger account with a hotmail email address. Then blogger tells me that I need to use a google account but oh I shouldn't worry theyve made a google address with my hotmail address. Whaa?

So anyway, what began to happen was that this started messing around with my orkut activisim. I'm not sure that's the right word. Anyway, when I signed into blogger or into orkut, the other wouldn't work because it needed the other address. I got sick of the signing in and out over and over.

So I killed it.

Yes yes by mistake.

I thought the solution would be simple. Shift the blog to the google address. There's this way of exporting blogs which is how a friend moved hers to wordpress. I'd do that and I'd be home free. So I exported the blog to my PC, then onto the new account I'd made with the google address. But I wanted the same name which I couldn't use because the past version still existed. So I check and double checked and then deleted the original. Turns out I still couldn't use the originals name.

Hence it was dead.

By mistake! Because what I should've done was coauthor the blog with the new address and just not sign in with the old one. Alas this did not strike me before. Hence we are here.

A door left open
A woman walking by
A drop in the water
A look in the eye
A phone on the table
A man on your side
Oh, someone that you think that you can trust
Is just
Another way to die

the most excited blogpost ever!

2009-01-30T09:38:00.000-08:00

By jingo! Last night was eventful indeed. I shall start from the beginning....
..
......
..

.
.
...
Okay enough of that.

Introduction

Our drummer, Owais, will be leaving in June..or maybe July. He is joining the army. Yes that is the best he could come up with. This and a particularly impressive jam with him while working on our originals led us to properly consider recording our work. Finally Saad Khaleel emailed OBA(OmarBilalAkhter) of ADP(AuntyDiscoProject) and asked him for ADVICE(advice). Being the uber-nice dude he is he apparently replied and said that this should be done on the phone and we can call him anytime and stuff. I say allegedly because well, this what Saad told me and I trust no one -_- ...

This was around the same time OBA-san wrote this post on his own blog....coincidence?...I dunno maybe..

We find out...

Then we found out that there was going to be an ADP gig at the Clifton Nandos on the 29th, a free gig. GASP! Free? ADP? Me? This has never been a good combination! For the very very few of you who are not regulars here, I would like you to recall this post!

No matter, this was Nandos(should there be an apostraphe in there?). There would be no "families only" bullshit here. We'd go and watch the show, maybe even talk to OBA and all afterwards. Though Saad had injected his usual weak spineness at this juncture by saying stuff like "dude he'll just have gotten off stage we can't go up and bug him about this stuff".To which I'd usually say something like "dude I hate you I hate you" and run off crying while I flung myself onto my hugeass four poster bed with silk sheets and red pillowcases.
.........

The day arrives

I'd discovered the day before that this was the launch of something of the other at Nandos and not just a free concert. Which made me turn into the bitchy don't-be-late person I become since I reasoned that it would start on time. So yeah, we went. Two cars; mine with Saad, me and Owais and Anes' with him and Kanwal(his fiance, oooooooooh). We got there on time, which was to be 7pm and since we were there by 642pm it was pretty cool. I didnt even drive fast. Anes had yet to arrive. We were walking in and I was all happy and relieved that there appeared to be no major obstructions to our getting in. The guy at the door asked us how many people were in our group and I told him, even remembering to make him write down Anes' name so that our buddy buds could get in hassle-free.

Deja vu

We got in and sat down on the lower level. We could hear a lot of noise coming down from the floor above us where the whole shebang was going down. At the door we'd seen a few tv people coming in and they all had gone upstairs. Logically we concluded that this wasn't where we were supposed to be. We asked the waiter when the concert was to begin and if we should go up now or later. He asked us if we had invites to which we suavely replied "uhh.....no?"*slight pause* "sir could you please step out with me". Oh crap. This was the long friday all over again! Nobody had said anything about invites! Nobody! Or had they?? Saad must've forgotten! God, I hate him! I'm going to kill him when this is done!

The guy at the door said we were supposed to get invites, we told him we were invited by email and he should ask Omar Bilal Akhtar. He was like "Bilal Akhter who?". We elaborated that he was in the band who were to play and such and such so he sent a waiter dude to call mister saleem or whoever since he didn't know enough. So we waited. Then God sent us OK(Omar Khalid) and Yasir Qureshi. ADP's drummer and darbouka man respectively. We breathed a sigh of relieft, we could get in now since they knew us we knew them blah blah. OK came over and started talking to Saad, Yasir went up to the door and was stopped by the guy so he told him he was with the band. "What band?" I heard, horror struck. Holy shit if THEY cant get in what hope do we have?? By then Saleem or whoever had showed up though and we got in along with OK and Yasir. Anes still hadn't shown up so we reminded the gate demon about him.

We're in!

We went up. There was a ginormous crowd and this lady going on and on about the Cataplana. Turns out they were introducing a new menu item. This well known chef dude from MasalaTV showed up and explained to everyone that it was a South African Portugalese dish which had rice, chicken and some vegetables in it. With a description that detailed I could taste it already. The hostess person also said that everytime anyone ordered it, the waiters would open the container in which it was served with a tada! I immediately made a mental note to NEVER order the catawhatsit.
While we were milling around aimlessly waiting for stuff to happen Anes and Kanwal showed up. Anes, as per usual, had to go the the bathroom. This only happens when we're out. I do not know why. Kanwal was stuck with us so Saad and her promptly got into a we-are-in-IBA conversation. Someone asked us why we were standing and if we needed a table. I told him we were with band and surprisingly we were made space for. How quickly times change. Then this witer lady told us to go down so that we could be served, yes there was free food! The excitement! Free music AND free food?? All was right in the world. Anes still hadn't shown up by the way. We went down, got to a table and waited.

Suddenly we heard the sound of a bass guitar and panic struck! They were going to start and we were stuck here! Nooo! No wait! Anes is up there! He doesn't know we're downstairs! He'll be himself and get lost! We'll go up and find him! And stay there and watch the show! At this point Anes showed up. Sigh. It looked like we'd have to eat.

The phood

We got a couple of caterpillars or whatever which the server opened with a very wilted "tada?". I was being my usual asinine self and trying to be funny. Then we got free chicken and free fries and free lemonade. So I shutup and tucked in. Since there was a lady present we all had to be polite and eat like civilised people and not cavemen. Sigh, what testing times we live in. But anyway, we kept at it and were done quickly enough. Then we moved upstairs with alacrity. Yeah baby, today is SAT english vocabulary usage day.

Upstairs ADP were all on stage and going through the final stages of their soundcheck. OBA came off and shook hands with me and graciously said a few words to the effect of "hey dude" to which I replied with great wit "uh...". What! He's a celebrity okay?! I was subdued into silence. Anyway he talked to Saad and Anes, asked them about the sound and all they told him the guitars weren't loud enough and so yeah that was that and then they started! Woohoo!

The show!

ADP as always, I have found amazing. They just have SO much energy. This show was no different. OBA was jumping around for all that he was worth. Ali Alam was very energetic too. OK had brought his shiny sparkly new drumkit. I was jumping and all too, singing along to every song and I more or less new the words to EVERY song. Needless to say I was very pleased with myself. They did around 10 songs i think. All their famous originals like Sultanat, Sheher ke Aansoo, Nazar, Likhta Nahin Mein etc. Ali Alam did three of his own songs which I also knew though I can't remember their titles(sorry Ali!). They did Prince's Kiss, Womanizer by britney(that was fun lol), Teenage Wasteland by The Who which was very cool of them. They were so loud and crazy that lightshades started dropping out of the ceiling! That was pretty awesome. My excitement was beginning to affect people around me like the camera man whos ear I was yelling the lyrics into and who asked me try and not shake him so much.

The awesomeness!

And just like that we were done. The show ended. People started to leave. Anes had already left since he had to drop Kanwal back home. We milled around for a bit so that we could meet the guys and stuff. I was excited by this prospect since it meant we could talk to them and also ask them about recording and general advice and what not. Though when Saad said that OBA was tired and we shouldnt bug him I was pissed enough at that to leave immediately. But he did end up going to OK and talking to him about stuff. Yasir at this point hailed me with a "hey starman" I was like whaaaaaat! He knows my secret identity! How?! He's read my bloj! Yes! This bloj! Amazingness! I asked him haltingly(didnt want to seem like a opportunistic douche) about RJing at fm91 and he said he'd introduce me to the guys then and there since they happened to have come too! All my dreams are coming true! Then Saad motioned me to come and join him as we joined OBA who was half lying on this bench, so tired he was. Ali Alam was packing up and I thought I should offer to help but alas shyness took over and I kept quiet and sat myself down next to OBA, who said "hey star dude"...WHAT!! He's read this bloj too! I should start charging you people! Ali Alam asked me for a rubber band! He recognised me by my hat from the forum show!! I was overjoyed.

Anyway we talked at length about recording, general direction we should be headed in and stuff and a few other things too. For one we are now in the running to be ADPs opening band. We were planning to ask them about this for a while now and as it turns out they were looking for somebody too and so....YAY!!! Plus I asked OBA about RJing at fm89 and he gave me some pointers on that too! Double yay!

I didn't get a chance to talk to Yasir since we left after that and the band was eating and what not and I didnt want to intrude. But nevertheless. I left a happy, happy man. Man..not boy...wow...I am getting old. Sigh. 22 next month. But no. Nothing can bring me down for now. ADPs gone to Lahore for a couple of shows. Hope they go awesomely awesomatic. We jammed today, started to work on our stuff with renewed purpose. Now we know what the immediate future may hold. Quite a few days of general down-ness have been forgotten. Washed away by the hope that the dream might just work and that one day; Saad, Anes and I will be like ADP, will be famous, will be making music.

Will be rockstars.

Take me down to the paradise city
Where the grass is green
And the girls are pretty
Oh, won't you please take me home

The Verld through my Ass!

2009-01-21T04:52:00.000-08:00

I mean eyes. That's just how Meera says it.

OMGOGMOMGOMG Barack Hoosayn Obama is in! Foshizzle son! We be burnin' not concernin' what nobody wanna say! No wait Sean Paul isn't African American.. he isn't even American. Whatever jigger, roll wit it. This is where the man(me!) gets political!

How to solve ALL of Pakistan's problems and why it wont' happen anytime soon:

As you know, the country is in deep shit. As you also may know, it's always been that way. We've never really been good at the whole stability thing. Governments suck and by that I mean both in the slangy way and the sucking-the-country-dry way. The last ray of hope we had was when Musharraf took over but that too went the way it usually goes in this neck of the woods. Musharraf came with big ideas and big talk and in the beginning it looked like it'd work but then as the years progressed, he too was unable to fix the system and the system fixed him. Another hypothesis is that he found the power a bit too appealing and did what everyoen else had been doing so far.
Anyway point is, he's gone now.

Now we have the PPPPPPP headed by the digressing duo; Stache and Smiley. Smiley calls the real shots while Stache looks busy. Apparently this time around our president is more powerful than the prime minister. We are up to our necks in debt, the country is nearly bankrupt, we've got the taliban to the and in the west, India to the east with a few Staches of their own and everyone else all around to worry about. Also I still am not a rockstar. Though I am told that isn't so related to the issue. Thank you O.

Not Oprah, Oracle.

No what I think is fundamentally wrong with our country, is our leadership. It's always been our leadership. Yeah I know nothing new just passing the blame, ask not what your country can and blah. But seriously, hear me out.

Along with leadership, our main issue is corruption. This one-two punch affects us in the following way:

-Leaders rich
-Rich people not as concerned about poorer majority
-More concern with self leads to corruption
-Corruption further solidifies the status of the poor
-Since poor are well...poor..they have to make a choice between making a living/surviving and politics
-Majority not effectively represented
-Majority stays screwed

Tada! All our problems in a nutshell. Now the solution!

-Independant judiciary
-Stops corruption
-Corrupt leaders in jail or out of circulation at least
-Non-corrupt leaders since not busy with corruption, help country in fields like the economy, education and health.
-Jobs created
-Poor not so poor anymore, standard of living raised
-Have time to participate in politics
-Enter politics
-Represent their constituencies effectively, since they know what it's like in the ghetto/hood (f'real)
-Majority represented, majority helped, country fixed!

Now, why it won't happen.

-Corrupt in power
-Don't give a shit about anyone else
-Judiciary not independant
-No one to stop them
-No one to fix shit
-Shit stays shitty

It all makes so much sense! I know right!? Gawd I am impressed with my glorious appraisal of me. That's what she said.

But no seriously, it all falls in place. The only way anything proper will go down is if the PPPPP reinstate the old judges who started the whole ruckus in the first place. But they won't cuz then they'll be the first to go out the door. Oh and don't be fooled by the Metallurgist Motuus, of the PML-79FK, rhetoric demanding the judges be brought back. They themselves ordered an ATTACK on the Supreme Court when an unfavourable decision was passed. All they want is for the judges to be back so that the PPPPP is out so that THEY get their turn with the G's.

What we can do is hope that somehow someway a government will come into power that actually helps the people and is not concerned primarily with themselves. That isn't happening for at least 4 more years.

Flam! updates

I uploaded a couple of videos from the disasterous Oktoberfest gig. Or so we thought it was. What happened then was that we didn't manage to manipulate the soundsystem to our liking so the monitors were messed up in a way that we thought we sounded really shitty. The result was a stiff and sulky performance, 4 songs performed out of 5 planned and an exit without even a goodbye to the folks.

Then there came the video.

Turns out we wern;t sounding so horrible as far as the audience is concerned. If only we'd realised that and done something like shut off the monitors or I dunno what.

So anyway, I posted the videos on this orkut community of guitarists for feedback and constructive criticism and lo and behold, people actually liked it =O! Surprise is me!

Oh and we met the guy who wokrd with Nadeem Jafri(mentioned at the end; here). I don't think that'll work out cuz he's to old school and by that I don't mean LedZep, I mean Ali Haider. Which means a lot of production, a lot of instruments and very measured and calculated. While we are so much more plug and play. Next target: ADP. Apparently they got their entire album recorded in 25-30k. Must find out more!

Here are the videos:

Jaduu Ka Chiragh

Shab-e-Hijr, our first single

Yeeeup so that's that I will return sooner than usual for another post. I shall start posting notable comic volumes here so as to spread my love for them, download links too though they'll be rapidshare only which I don't think is very popular in Pakistan. At least not among the people I know.

Au revoir.

Complications of a mastermind
Last temptation of my kind
Extra planetary sign
When do we align
All in time
Right on

Mental vacancy

2009-01-09T14:44:00.000-08:00

It's around 4am. I could write the exact time but then what that would involve me waiting till I've finished this post and then fitting in the time at that moment. Which wouldn't accurately reflect the general situation I want to describe. Yeah, I think too much. Or so "they" say.

I'm listening to John Mayer, listening and watching too since it's his latest concert/dvd offering. I tend to return to this in times of mental vacancy. Right now I should be asleep. I should have been asleep 2 hours ago, for I have to go to Anees Hussain in the morning as I have to every Saturday at 12noon. Since my sleeping habits a more Catwoman than Batman, in terms of duration I mean, I really should be asleep. I should have checked the stuff from the last class too by now. Which was 6 days ago but like I always do, I've left it for the very last moment. One of the things I don't really plan to fix but hope I will automatically when it is necessary.

So much depends on hope nowadays it seems. Shit's happening all over the world. Though like the song Sunscreen, these truly will seem like better times as the years pass.

But I digest, I was talking about Mayer.
I am a fan, girly/commercial/pop as it/he may be, and while all today I was listening to songs like Hard Rock Hallelujah by Lordi and for the past four or five days I've been air-performing in my room to the screams of Chris Cornell on Audioslave's Shadow on the Sun(which I am so intent on covering asap), I now am listening to John Mayer. I am now feeling a bit guilty over not really playing my guitar as much as it deserves. Hell, it deserves to be played till the finish starts to chip, the string have been replaed a dozen times and till I can play at least my top 6 favourite Mayer songs. At least.

By that time I'll hopefully have learnt quite a few other songs too and that will be the time to get a new guitar. I want a tonne of guitars. So, so many. But only if I can play upto their worth.

Since I believe I should keep my posts short so that the multitude of people who hang onto my every spinning punctuation mark can not have to suffer the shame that comes from drifting off to sleep half way through, sleep-read and then hours later have to come back since they realise they don't remember a certain phrase I so cunningly employed; I shall try and not extend this too far.

I plan to expand my blog purposes to include more indepth efforts towards helping me put me in perspective since that's what this bloj is about, me. I'll talk about comics because I'm really into them. Not in the uber-geek, high pitched nasal voice, condescending "studies have conclusively revealed that Power Girl is a size D as evidenced in JLA #.." crap. The actual plain and simple, stripped down appreciation of the medium and the storylines and characters. I'll probably upload a few of my favourite story arcs too since I have a rapidshare account lying around that I don't exploit to it's full potential. Now if I can work out why it doesn't show everything I upload..

I also think I'll start cooking stuff. Yes I know not really what guys my age or guys in general are expected to do where I'm from and at but yeah I like it and I've watched more than enough Jamie Oliver, Michael Smith, Ainsley Harriot, Gordon Ramsay and BBC Food in general to not do something about my love for food. Since theres no point in talking about Aloo Gosht and Khichri, I think I'll do stuff that mum doesn't. And tell everyone about it. Which will be through my bloj so probably amount to you farigh few. You know who you are.

Oh and, I wanted to talk about a few major things too. Major as in relevant, serious, deep stuff that I don't know much about but have opinions on that I believe are correct.

I need to do more. Of everything. Music, studies, work, partying, reading, talking, everything. There is time aplenty. I am too substance-free for myself.

Flam! updates:

We planned to get our stuff recorded so were looking for all possible options. We've found a few. The one we plan to pursue with greatest vigour is a guy who is allegedly Nadeem Jafri's studio technician. Who is currently going through this process of giving us times to meet up and then blowing us off for lame excuses. Which is pissing me off. Will post more as it happens.

Here's some John Mayer to wind up.

Gravity is working against me
And gravity wants to bring me down

I'll never know what makes this man
With all the love that his heart can stand
Dream of ways to throw it all away

Twice as much aint twice as good
And can't sustain like a one half could
It's wanting more
That's gonna send me to my knees

Gravity, stay the hell away from me
Oh gravity has taken better men than me how can that be?

Just keep me where the light is

PS: blogger is getting irritating. new posts don't show up immediately. i fear i too may have to migrate to wordpress ala ms.saiyed. fix up, blogger. fix up or die.

The post that nearly wasn't..

2008-12-30T09:14:00.000-08:00

So after a large number of days here I are with a new post. I'm still wondering who reads this. Not many people I'm sure. Anyway! I bring thee, the people, news of mine life! Wasszaaaa karachiiiiiii (and beyonnnnd)....!!

Last Friday I happened to witness a performance by The Munchkins at the PACC. ADP was there too but sadly we got there too late. The show, horror of horrors, appeared to have started on time. Yes I too am still wondering about that. Anyway, the show was in a word, amazing. These guys have their act in tact ladies and germs. Their setlist included:

Led Zeppelin
Whole Lotta Love
Immigrant Song
Stairway to Heaven (merged into All Along the Watchtower, the Dave Mathhews Version, an idea I had independantly thought of a few days prior to this..now everyone'll think we stole it)

Rage Against the Machine
Testify (omg he played the cable-pulled-out-and-touching-metal solo!)
Sleep Now in the Fire

The Police
Message in a Bottle
Every Little Thing She Does is Magic

Jimi Hendrix
Fire

Pink Floyd
Wish You Were Here (Immu did some sweet keyboard-isms on this)
Comfortably Numb

Carlos Santana
Maria (Abbas Premjee displaying some serious acoustic chops)

Red Hot Chili Peppers (omg!)
Give It Away
Snow

U2
Vertigo
New Year's Day
Pride

John Mayer
Waiting On the World to Change.

All of these were astonishingly good representations of the originals. Their vocalist is very very versatile and so is their guitar man. Bass is courtesy of Khalid of Aaroh fame and their drummer is the man himself, John Louis "Gumby" Pinto. Who is crazy. They brought in this keyboards and synthesizer dude who was really classy. He played nearly the entire Stairway to Heaven solo after the guitarist. Skillz major. I was sitting with an open mouth for nearly the entire show.

Obviously the performance drove a few points home...at home. All of us band people were there. Saad, Owais, Anes, me even Jazib who is ex-band. Yeah heh we crossed the ex member mark already. Anyway, it really put into perspective the whole 'how good are we?' issue.

As far as im concerned we arent nearly as good as we need to be. Sure The Munchkins weren't very physical, unlike ADP who have OBA jumping all over the place and Yasir bouncing in his chair and Ali Alam gets worked up too. But they didn't need to. Their vocalist carried it all with his banter and well..chops. I mean holy shit the man can sing. It's not easy to cover Robert Plant, Zack de la Rocha (no its not "just rap"), Sting, Bono, Anthony Keidis, Dave Gilmour and Dave Mathhews, let alone all in one go. He did it.

So we need a blend of all out going wild and having a strong frontman. Er, I say. Work is needed.

The recording demos idea is getting a bit more support. In fact it's nearly a done thing. All we need is to get a decent level of quality assurance and we'll get a handful of songs recorded as well as is possible in some home setup. Then the plan is to disseminate them then through our friends and the internets. Hopefully interest will be raised, fans will increase and gigs will be gained. Which will result in a cumulative effect. Hopefully. Currently we got this friend of a friend to try his hand at scratching together something workable for one of our covers.

That one.

And the next time I see OBA I shall the talks to him. Ain't no glass barriers where I'm coming from.

I heard this recently and I like it quite a bit. More so than the original even. It's on Use Your Illusion 2, by Guns N' Roses obviously.

If we could see tomorrow
What of your plans
No one can live in sorrow
Ask all your friends

Times that you took in stride, their
Back in demand
I was the one who's washing
Blood of your hands

Don't you cry tonight
I still love you baby
Don't you cry tonight
There's a heaven above you baby
And don't you cry tonight

I know the things you wanted
They're not what you have
With all the people talkin'
It's driving you mad

If I was standing by you
How would you feel?
Knowing your love's decided
And all love is real
Baby

Don't you cry tonight
I still love you baby
Don't you cry tonight
There's a heaven above you baby
And don't you cry tonight

I thought I could live in your world
As years all went by
With all the voices I've heard
Something has died

And when you're in need of someone
My heart won't deny you
So many seems so lonely
With no one left to cry to baby

And don't you cry tonight
There's a heaven above you baby
And don't you cry tonight
Don't you ever cry
Don't you cry tonight, baby, maybe, someday
Don't you cry tonight
Don't you ever cry
Don't you cry tonight

Me a la xkcd!

2008-12-14T13:03:00.000-08:00

This is a collection of parts of my personality, sense of humor and general accepted facts(possibly in my mind only) that I found on xkcd.com. You might have to click on some to see them clearly in larger resolution.

My hats are close to me. Very.

This is just stupid funny.

OMG so true! Now if this were ambient or house..

Happens to me more times I can remember. Wait..how do I know that then?

My awareness that I am not a child + silliness

True.

Shift!

I am not a ninja. Though I might be Batman.

The reason.

Yesterday,
All my troubles seemed so far away,
Now it looks as though they're here to stay,
Oh, I believe in yesterday.

Suddenly,
I'm not half the man I used to be,
There's a shadow hanging over me,
Oh, yesterday came suddenly.

Why she
Had to go I don't know, she wouldn't say.
I said,
Something wrong, now I long for yesterday.

Yesterday,
Love was such an easy game to play,
Now I need a place to hide away,
Oh, I believe in yesterday.

Why she
Had to go I don't know, she wouldn't say.
I said,
Something wrong, now I long for yesterday.

Yesterday,
Love was such an easy game to play,
Now I need a place to hide away,
Oh, I believe in yesterday.

cut and slash!

2008-12-10T10:12:00.000-08:00

Waszaa!! The exams they are the overs! The great one is free! For a bit. Much has happened since my last post, oh minions of mine. Let us et on with it in earnest. I present to you, The Rant!

Car Troubles

If you've been following my posts, which you have (Imran :P); you'd remember that post the ADP and Z&H concert, my car broke down. Had quite a few issues with it. Well, turns out that wasn't the end of it. I had a faulty water body. I mean the car. Lol. Anyway, that's what they call the mechanism that pumps water around the engine to cool it and such, don't know if thats the correct name or not. Anyway, that thing developed a leak. A la Suzuki's ghatyaness. Stuff like that apparently shouldn't havent for many many year, let alone 2. Which is how old my car is. Less actually.

So that leaked which meant water was being lost much faster than is normal hence less to go around to cool the engine hence the car heating up. That led to the gasket, thing around the piston area, to deform due to abnormal temperatures caused by lack of cooling. That led to oil mixing into the water. Which led to the water getting hot quicker and staying hot longer since well, oil does that. So it was an issue that compounded upon itself. To get that fixed it cost me 3600. Cost extra since The AC managed to screw up during this period too, something to do with belts and what not.

After all that, the car begins to make this weird creaking sound whenever I turn left. After much confusion it was revealed that the carbon bushes, again I don't know what the real name is, were done for dude to..ahem..heavy handedness through potholes. Of which we have many. 300 more for parts and I dont know how much more for labour. The AC ran out of gas too. 1200 ki woh refill hogi. But this's the best part.

When I went to get the creaking issue checked, the mechanic dude decides he needs a test drive to further his diagnosis and what not. So we take a spin around the mohalla. On the way back, we stop at this T junction. We have to go left. This school bus has to come from that left and go right. We wait so that it can pass. Stupid son of a bitch makes a short turn and scrapes the side of my car! I mean WHAT THE HELL MAN!!? So we get out, yelling so that he stops (so that in my mind I could take his face and smash it into his bus). He comes around and lo and behold when i get there theres this 2 foot long scratch and a dent with about a 3 inch diameter. We talk to his contractor who readily agrees to pay up. Surprising to say the least. Anyway, I go back to the workshop, the bus leaves and things move on. The contractor says he'll show up on sunday at around 330 while on his way back home from somewhere.

He doesn't.

At 330 his phone's off.
At 4 his phone is at his house. His 3-4 year old daughter tells me dad's not home. I talk to the mum, she reiterates.
I call from another number. The daughter says "abbu woh kehrahe hain ammi se baat karaein". A-fkng-ha.

So anyway he didn't show up. Leaving me at a loss. Not really I'll badger him come tomorrow and if he doesnt show up i'll go to his house. Which might be a tad weird since one of my friends called him up and told his wife he'd show up with dudes in case the hubby keeps skirting. Lol. I hope this doesn't end with me dead.

I hate Pakistani drivers.

Oh yay it's Eid

Eid mubarak everyone. Hope it was fun. And fulfilling.

I hate Eid-ul-Azha. Absolutely despise it. Don't get me wrong it's not the point of it all. It's the way stuff happens over here.

The entire excitement about getting "jaanwars". The trips to the market. The arguments over price.

And then theres the purpose. The sacrifice. Call me a cynic but I don't see no sacrifice. I don't think people actually even care about the whole "giving back to society and those lesser in stature" angle. I don't think people consider the whole Ibrahim and his son relation. Oh no. All I hear is planning about daawats and barbecues and what not. I mean what the hell? Are we not a "poor" nation?? How on earth do people then manage to cough up the money to blow 10grand on a measly goat?? Around 40 on cows! I mean. If everyone is SO concerned about the poor, why don't they just split the money into the appropriate factors and give it away accordingly? I'm sure Allah wouldn't mind. But oh no. Theres the family name to think of. One's standing in society to consider. What will the children brag about with their screechy friends as they run around chasing the poor beasts, urging them to run and enjoy their last days before they become somebodys karhai/qorma/kabab/tikka/whatever.

And OMG the grossness. Is it just the ones I've seen or are all butchers exceptionally unclean? Blekh. Seriously.

And why do the poor animals have to be witness to the gore? I heard somewhere that's inhumae by Islamic standards and should be avoided. Yet I don't see that happening. Also, if everyone's doing it for the religion, then surely such rigour should be reflected in other Islamic avenues too? All the people neck deep in cow intestines should be the absolute personication of piety.

Believe me it is not so.
And don't talk to me about exceptions.

Mumbai

The attacks in Mumbai. Last week's news. A thousand Indian security personnel being given the run around by what, 35 terrorists? As a friend said, respect man. Lets focus on stuff after that.

The English cricket team. They scarpered as soon as the shit went down. But now they're back. Everyone's refused to come to Pakistan. But they go back to India just days after an attack where around 200 people died in RANDOM killings. They've been offered protection by the best trained Indian security teams see. The same teams who got their collective ass whooped by 35 twenty-somethings.

And speaking of us, we initially deny any involvement and knowledge; but in less than a week two "suspects" are arrested. Who we refuse to hand over. Why the hell did we grab them then? WE are going to interrogate them then "share" our findings? Who the hell cares for that? I feel it's all a publicity stunt to show that we're going our bit. Obviously I am no authority but ah what the who.

Flam! and music in general

Recently, after going through some weird personal shit, I decided to look up the blues. In particular I began listening to this one song, Ain't No Sunshine as done by Buddy Guy and Tracy Chapman. Originally I think by Marvin Gaye, that song is really really nice. Had the feeling I needed if not necessarily the context. This lead to a youtube quest regarding Buddy Guy and the blooz in general and boy oh boy did I get results.

This song has particularly grown on me. And since I really like Chicago too, it's all the better for it.

This jam is just crazy. Eric clapton a lot younger than in the previous video and these two just burn up the notes.

Also, I rediscovered the Norwegian Recycling outfit. I think it's just one guy who does it all. What he does is take a number of songs and mash them up. Creating this totally new song that is really really cool, more so if the songs are familiar.

This is a mashup of:

1. Sean Kingston - Beautiful Girls
2. Ben E. King - Stand By Me
3. Snow Patrol - Chasing Cars
4. Alice Deejay - Back In My Life
5. Beverly Hills 90210 - Opening Theme
6. Puff Daddy feat. Faith Evans &112 - I'll Be Missing You

The video further accentuates the overall scenario.

Finally I come to Flam!. Yeah the exclimanation mark is part of the name. Saad(guitars) and I are at a stalemate in our argument about what to do regarding the band in the immediate future.
I say we should get stuff recorded so that we may circulate it to potential supporters via the net. Saad does not agree. He is of the opinion that proper recording should not be considered till we have the money to get it done where live drums may be incorporated instead of loops. That costs a substantial bit more. While I'm all for the live drums idea my main issue is that to get that kind of money a lot of time well be needed, time that will be wasted otherwise since procrastination is something we're so good at it could very well be another genre. Not that we're good at the genres we relate to heh. He says we should make unplugged versions of our songs, record them khudse and use those as marketing tools. In the meantime we should concentrate on gigs. Since they are few and far between in the coming, we should organize our own concert. A valid idea but unplugged songs take away the relation factor and people who listen to them won't recognise them if and when they like them enough to show up at one of our shows. Though the gig factor must be pursued. I wonder how we're going to get sponsors. Does anyone know anyone who could help?

This is when I wish a lot of people read my bloj.

There’s a woman crying out tonight
Her world has changed
She asks God why
Her only son has died
And now her daughter cries
She can’t sleep at night

Downtown another day for all the suits and ties
Another war to fight
There’s no regard for life
How do they sleep at night
How can we make things right
Just wanna make this right

We believe
In this love

So this world is too much for you to take
Just lay it down and follow me
I’ll be everything you need
In everyway

We believe
In this love

Blaj.

2008-12-08T13:23:00.000-08:00

the long friday, a starman graphic novel.

2008-12-03T14:02:00.000-08:00

Post. Hmm. I wonder if blog entries may be qualified as posts. Further research needed. Anyway, it seems I have found time to post another entry. Once again I am wondering why I bother. It's not like anyone is going to read it. "not yet" is all I have as consolation.

I have been away, my imaginary followers, for I am busy. Busy with studies! Yes I, rockstar-to-be extraodinaire, also study. Tis the bane of this youth of mine. Speaking of which, I've noticed I feel rather old compared to the young and happy folk I happen to see all too much nowadays. Ah..I feel a rant building up.

ADP, Z&H and Ego.

Friday the...umm...ah 28th. Aunty Disco Project and Zeb and Haniya are scheduled to perform at The Forum( a mall in Karachi for my international followers). I hear about it on the radio. CityFM89 to be precise. Guess what? It's free!! HOLY SHIT FREE!!! Petrol cost 27 bucks a litre when I arrived in this country. It's been upto 84 recently. A medium sized loaf of sliced bread was for 12. Now I think it's 30. Imagine what a step forward, or well maybe backward, a free concert is!

ADP is one of my favourite favourite current Pakistani bands. I'll post a video or two of theirs in this post chalo. Anyway, these guys are insane. Plus they're regular dudes. No bullshit. all about the music. They have regular jobs too! Which makes them all the more appealing to me since they represent the possibility factor of my rockstar aspirations. Though I would readily give up a regular job for a life as a hugeass rockstar but at the very least I'd like to be a moderately huge rockstar if I have to have a dayjob too. Anyway! So um...yeah! They put on a kickass show too! Lots and lots of energy, jumping around and what not, OBA is really good as frontman and Yasir adding that special flavour with his darbuka chops and holyshit OK is like our David Grohl(very very high praise if you are an ignoramus)!!

Zeb and Haniya are also pretty respected in my bands-I-am-a-fan-of list but since I have yet to give their album a proper listen, I was mainly concerned with ADP.

All in all I was pretty psyched about going, and despite the fact that I had exams looming over me head, due in less than 5 days after the concert; I planned to go. I mean come on! Plus since it was on a Friday, there was no risk of The Forums "family day" bullshit which, like is common in our hypocritical nation, mean you cant get in unless you have a "female" with you. "femail" in some places. Or a toddler. Do not think you and your 3 "mail" cousins may enter. Oh no no no, you are not the kind of family that counts. Apparently it has something to do with rowdyism, lecherism, ogling hotties(yeah that's sexist whatever, screw you!) and generally being douches(don't see you resenting that now, do I?).

So I grab Ali Murtaza and the Bilalman and reach The Forum bang on time at 530. Oh hey everything's set up, cool! Lets go lets go..."Sorry sir, families only hai aaj"...."(wtf) friday ko bhi..?"..."jee sir *greasy smile*".

At this point, an appropriate catchphrase to sum up my insanely foul mood would be "HULK F*CKNG SMASH!!!". All I bloody wanted was to show up at a show, with a couple of friends and have a good time and leave. Thats Fcking it! But no! Since our illiterate and unexposed nation is permeated with bloody asshole MAILAS who's idea of a good time comprises of taking pictures without consent and passing comments and general douchebaggery and since like our fckng police our security culture is to try and make the problem just go away without having to actually do anything about it, our people erect these hypocritical, discriminatory FAMILIES ONLY signs that suggest that if you don't have the appropriate amount of Y chromosomes in your immediate vicinity or preferably in you, youre a maila too! This is actually a ploy to hide the fact that any security apparatus erected is a sham and just window dressing. What's the bloody point of SECURITY if you can't fckng SECURE even the will to carry out your own objectives!?

We stayed around for a bit, tried to call in any people who could either bring "family" or be our "family" but to no avail. Some unknown younger brother-elder brother kept Bilal from contacting his elder brother Mikaal and asking him to help us out. He did however mention the situation to his mum when he called to see if he could wrangle his actual family(the kind thats real!) to come and in doing so get us in. That didn't work exactly as planned but it did. When we reached Bilal's house after giving up hope, we found that Mikaal had left and would get us in. By then I was thoroughly depressed, but my spirits slowly began to rise as we returned to the forum and lo and behold! Where there were 3 dudes, now there were 4! But we got in because we had a "family" member with us. Hurray for hypocrisy. Asswipes.

It was 630 when we got in and thankfully, ADP started just as we got in. Yay! Being vertically challenged, I had difficulty seeing over the heads of everyone in front of me. Since my compadres weren't as excited about the deal as I was, I made my way alone to the front...um..row. If you could call it that.

That's Imran Lodhi on bass btw. He's left, it's Ali alam now he's not in this video.

Once again, ADP were INSANE! OBA and Ali Alam were jumping so hard I thought the stage would collapse! OKs skinbeating was so furious the kit was vibrating to no end and Yasir was well...show stealing intermittently like he does. It seemed like this was the show. This was the headline. No one was waiting for Zeb and Haniya it seemed. I wasn't at least.
An eventful moment came in the form of OBA suddenly throwing down his guitar at some interruption and storming to the side to have what he surely wanted to be a heated conversation but it turned out to be a sheepish one as he, sheepishly, came to the mic and announced they would be taking an Azaan break.
They came back in a bit, continued their set and ended loud. Ali Alam took over guitar and vocal duties in between, that was tightness too. Then everyone left so that OBA could do Nazar solo. That didn't really work well due to the hustle and bustle of the environment. An issue that affected the response Z&H generated as well, but I'll get to that in a bit. They also debuted a new song which wasn't totally new but ah well, not everybody's as fan as me! Which isn't much either but over there I was hardcore baby!!

Z&H were up next. We finally discovered that out of the two the guitar player is Haniya and the only vocals madame is Zeb. Haniya had done something to her ankle and was thus sitting down. Their band was the dudes from Co-ven minus Omran. Heck if Omran'd shown up all my dreams would've come true. For just that night and that concert I mean.
So yeah, Sameer is a good bassist and I happen to adore his guitar, Sikandar Mufti is ace drumwise and lol, Humza Jafri is a Talibani. No he isn't but he has the requisite beard. It's more than a foot long! And omg! His guitar his a movable pickup! Instead of multiple pickups and selectors for them, the pickup itself moves! Amazing!

Initially Humza's back was turned to the audience for a couple of songs. Eventually he turned forward. Their show wasn't really wild and crazy, stark contrast to the ADP show but then, it wasn't supposed to be. This wasn't ADP this was Z&H, cool female bluesy folky singers from up north. They did what they do and they did it well. Although I felt their laidback vibe and softer music didn't really work well in attracting people in such a busy environment. A mall is a place where I can now safely assume you need to be loud to be noticed. Lots of requests were being shouted out and they played all their big songs; Aitebaar, Chup, Rona Chhor Diya etc. They even played a stripped down version of Paimana Bitte, on rampant request even though it wasn't part of their setlist.

They were giving out free tshirts too of that very show. But only to the frontmost of the front rows. That too only the girls. Who didn't even want them! Ugh! Discrimination strikes again!

It ended at that. I caught up with Yasir post-show and asked him what we(Flam!) needed to do to be able to play with ADP. He gave me the basic version, stuff that I already knew. get a sponsor, arrange a show etc. Couldn't really work up the courage to ask him if they had any shows coming up where they'd be willing to let us open. And then we left. But the night was not over. Oh no.

The Perilous Journey Home!
En route to Bilal's we stopped at Jeddah Haleem Center near the former Schon Circle in the Mottas area for shawarmas. After that, we'd just u-turned and were on our way towards Teen Talwar when on the turn above the underpass my car which was already out of gas, ran out of petrol as well. A situation I'd been dreading for a few days now since I'd been conducting mileage experiments on gas and had regularly been using up my petrol reserve without remembering to fill it up again. Darkie and Bilal got out and pushed but progress was slow. Very slow. Fortunately a petrol station was closeby but at the pace we were moving I had to get out too and push which somehow drastically improved progress.

As we reached the pump a passerby pointed out that my rear passenger side tire was punctured too. I had not noticed that, till then. I got fuel then turned to the corner where there was a tire shop. Got the tire fixed there. Then sped off to Bilals to drop him. and sped on towards my house. I had gotten barely half a kilometre away when I noticed my engine was heating up to unGodly levels The needle was ABOVE the H symbol! Itsa gonna blow!! I stopped quickly to the side and called Bilal and told him to bring me water to put in. Our inexperience in the matter and stories we'd heard about similar situations led me and Darkie to be overaly cautious when opening the radiator cap to put in water. The one bottle I did have with me I expended splashing all over the place, causing much steam to rise. The place was dark. Really dark. Mobile snatcher dark. Thankfully none came and eventually we got it open and by then Bilal showed up too. Filling up the water, I dropped him back to his house and left with Darkie once again. Thankfully I got home without the car acting up again. Though it did in the subsequent days and the effects of that incident have cost me 3300 bucks so far. Add the tire, shawarma and the fuel charges to that and we come to the grand figure of 3700.

Free concert? Alas, it did not prove to be.

Been down so long, getting up didn't cross my mind,
I knew there was a better way of life that I was just trying to find.
You don't know what you'll do until you're put under pressure,
Across 110th Street is a hell of a tester.

PhUnNy $tUfFszxXsz!! lolxxx lmao rotf...oh you get it.

2008-11-29T11:29:00.000-08:00

hello vapid followers! If anyone at all is wondering why I'm not posting well...I'm busy. Yeah. That's all the explanation you'll get so take it sucka!

In the meantime, I looking to free up space on my measly 40 gig hard drive and found some actually funny, probably forwarded stuff that I thought I should post in lieu of an actual rant.

9 Things I hate About People:

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

2. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the T.V. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually.

3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Damn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?

4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? Gonna Kick their asses!

5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor.

6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?".... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?

7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.

8. When people say "life is short". What the hell?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?

9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbass?

Did You Know?

If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
(Hardly seems worth it.)

If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
(Now that's more like it!)

The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.
(O.M.G.!)

A A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.
(In my next life, I want to be a pig.)

A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. (Creepy.)
(I'm still not over the pig)

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.
(Do not try this at home. Maybe at work.)

The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.
("Honey, I'm home. What the...?!")

The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field.
(30 minutes... lucky pig. Can you imagine??)

Random Joke:

All the parts of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was the one in charge.
"I should be in charge" said the brain, "because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing would happen."
"I should be in charge" said the blood, "because I circulate oxygen all over, so without me you'd all waste away."
"I should be in charge" said the stomach, "because I process food and give all of you energy."
"I should be in charge" said the legs, "because I carry the body wherever it needs to go."
"I should be in charge" said the eyes, "because I allow the body to see where it goes."
"I should be in charge" said the rectum, "Because I'm responsible for waste removal."
All the other body parts laughed at the rectum and insulted him, so in a huff, he shut down tight.
Within a few days, the brain had a terrible headache, the stomach was bloated, the legs got wobbly, the eyes got watery and the blood was toxic.
They all decided that the rectum should be the boss.
The Moral of the story...the asshole is usually in charge.

20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level of Insanity

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with That.

4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In"

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone Has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch To Espresso.

6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Sexual Favors"

7. Finish All Your sentences with " Accordance With The Prophecy"

8. Don't use any punctuation

9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

10. Ask People What Sex They Are. Laugh Hysterically After They Answer.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go"

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme.

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play Tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In The Mood.

16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Hard.

17. When The Money Comes Out Of The ATM, Scream "I Won!, I Won!"

18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking Lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!"

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner,"Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go"

And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity.......

20. Send This Message To Someone To Make Them Smile...It's Called Therapy.

I told you they were forwards.

When you're dreaming with a broken heart
The waking up is the hardest part
You roll outta bed and down on your knees
And for the moment you can hardly breathe
Wondering was she really here?
Is she standing in my room?
No she's not, 'cause she's gone,

When you're dreaming with a broken heart
The giving up is the hardest part
She takes you in with her crying eyes
Then all at once you have to say goodbye
Wondering could you stay my love?
Will you wake up by my side?
No she can't, 'cause she's gone,

Now do i have to fall asleep with roses in my hands
Do i have to fall asleep with roses in my hands?
Would you get them if i did?
No you won't, 'cause you're gone.

When you're dreaming with a broken heart
The waking up is the hardest part.

Traffic and driving in Karachi; the Ali approach.

2008-11-19T10:14:00.000-08:00

Hello again rabid followers. I see you have yet to receive your shots. Bartender..

Ha Ha, yes that was indeed a pune.

Today's rant shall be about traffic in Karachi. How it sucks to high heaven. How shit brained motorcycle dudes do whatever the fk they want to and if antyhing happens to them it's always the gari walas fault. I mean what the hell!? A few days ago, traffic was really slow opposite my complex thingy. Cars stopped or moving real slow and what not. The whole nine yards. Out of nowhere, this motorcycle comes streaking in and around cars at around 45kmph. In out left right you name it he did it. Up ahead, on the left side of the road obviously...well not obviously, a bus had stopped(a rare occurence in karachi) to pick up some people. Motorcylce dude miscalculated his last swerve, his bike caught the end of the bus and stopped. He though, went flying on.

Ah, satisfaction.

Oh look some upstanding city folk coming to tell him off and that he got what he deserved..what...why're you helping him?? Is he alright?? Screw him! What if that was a person he'd plowed into?!? Oh please. Sigh.

Moving on. With hate.

I drive fast. Not crazy fast. More like 80-is-my-zone fast. I indicate, stick to the appropriate lanes, over-take from the correct side(the right the right!) and generally am not a douche with wheels. Nothing up there that says other people aren't, is there? Hmm nope. Cuz they are. Faggots.

One of the finer representatives of shit drivers are those who are FoB. Fresh off the Bus. I.e. theyve just moved to the city. Most of them can not read, let alone write. But somehow, they are considered fit for driving. Surely they must start off small, yes?

No.

Besides the few who putter around in those small pickups known only by the manufacturer's name, most of the others get the big stuff. Buses, tractors, trucks and lorries. Take that and apply the law of the jungle and you have some scrap metal fun. I've had quite a few brushes with these 4-6 wheeler death dealers of my own. The most recent I will illustrate.

This happens at the Karsaz Rd and Dalmia traffic intersection, for those familiar. I am going from clifton to Gulistan-e-Johar and hence from Karsaz onto Dalmia.

This is me waiting at the signal. Starting line. Pole position. Everyone around me, get ready to eat my dust.

As you can see, my signal is red. That is all that is keeping me motion-less. If you forget about all the jumping-around-to-the-radio that goes on inside the car.

Okay one signal down, one to go! I know when these guys are done, it's me! Haha! Oh hey wait...that means when they're on Yellow..I am too...I can blast-off early...

Haha! I was right! We are yellow simulataneously! Eat burnt rubber suckahzxxzzszz!!

Oh...what is that I see out of the corner of my eye....

HOLY SHIT A TRACTOR PULLING THIS TRAILER THINGY!! HE LEFT AT YELLOW TOO!! MUST BRAKE BEFORE I CRASH INTO HIM!!!

*our protagonist has not yet seen that there is not one, but two tractors. this corner-of-the-eye business is very overrated. let us zoom in a bit so that we may see what unfolds more clearly*

WHAT THE HELL THERE'S ANOTHER ONE!??! IF I KEEP GOING I'LL CRASH INTO THE FIRST ONE IF I BRAKE THE SECOND ONE WILL CRASH INTO ME!! WWBD!?

*our story continues at roughly 50kmph which, considering the proximity of the involved bodies, is pretty damn fast*

I'll only have one shot at this. I must brake hard, but not too hard, swerve to the left madly so that im clear of the first tractor and out before the 2nd one slams into me..HOLY STUPID MOVES, THE SECOND DUDE LET GO OFF THE WHEEL, WHY THE HELL ARE BOTH HIS HANDS UP IN THE AIR!?!

Bloody hell that was close.

Nobody gonna take my car
Im gonna race it to the ground
Nobody gonna beat my car
Its gonna break the speed of sound
Oooh its a killing machine
Its got everything
Like a driving power big
Fat tyres and everything

I wish, alas.

the rockiad

2008-11-16T11:00:00.000-08:00

so yeah since I have this bloj and love talking about me we return to the rockiad! The story of me! Lessee where'd i leave off...umm..

Ah! I had to be a bassist.

So I put the idea before my handlers(parents). I had the dough, thanks to grants received from various relatives due to le O leveles(did good there) and all I needed was permission. Why I needed permission to use my own money was a shitty reality of my existance then. The situation is a bit different now since I don't have any money to spend.

Anyway! To get permission, I had to get into LUMS. Hah! I got in while my A level exams were ongoing. The fact that I'd screwed them and in fact would not be going to LUMS was a matter no one could have predicted.

So I got the bass and a crappy little Yamaha amplifier. Initial stuff was simple. Feel Good Inc. by the Gorillaz, Seven Nation Army by the White Stripes etc. Saad Khaleel and Naeem Khan, a couple of friends going back to me O level days, which weren't that long ago then, and Anes Jaleel, a new acquaintance brought around by Babar; used to jam in those days. I used to loan my bass to them since I couldn't okay much then. Anes sang, Saad played the geetar and Naeem alternated between the geetar and bass.

For the first year of my bass posession, I didn't play much. Though I did play my first gig. At the City School Gulshan A levels Farewell 2006. The batch after ours. It was an absolute disaster. We had three songs; Sweet Child o' Mine, With or Without You and Lamhey by Jal which we planned to pull a 'feat.' with a junior and ask him to sing. Anes wasn't in this gig for whatever reason.

Sweet Child o' Mine started wrong. Saad's, who was singing, voice got stuck in his throat at the start and he choked off. We crashed to a halt, citing 'technical difficulties'. We moved on directly to the solo and since neither Naeem nor I knew shit about scales and what not, nor were we skilled enough to cope; we were all over the place. Naveed, another friend along as our 'manager', kept telling us how much time we had left. Every thirty seconds. Which didn't help with the pressure. I an attempt to save our sinking ship we called Zain Kazmi up to sing Lamhey. That went passably well apart from the fact that Zain sang along to a metronome in his head and Naeem's guitar fell of the strap mid-song forcing Naeem to sit at the edge of the stage, legs dangling; and play, prompting another junior to suggest he let him join in if he was messing around just for fun.

Hilariously, we ended that song big. Saad on his knees strumming furiously, me slapping the hell out of my bass and Naeem....well he was still sitting, oblovious of the wannabe-rocker hell we were raising behind him.

And then we were shut down. Our ex-principal told us to get off her stage despite the fact, as Naveed reminded us; that we had 7 minutes remaining. With or Without You got canned as a result and Saad collapsed backstage or rather sidestage, moaning over and over 'yaaaar, kitnaa fuck kardia yaaar shit yaaaar'.

Though the audience loved it. Weird. People really usually don't know shit.

More next time on the amazing Wannabe Rockiad!

Well Sometimes I Go Out,
By Myself,
And I Look Across The Water.

And I Think Of All The Things,
Of What You're Doing,
And in my head I Paint A Picture.

'Cause since I've Come Home,
Well My Body's Been A Mess,
And I Miss Your ginger Hair,
And The Way You Like To Dress.

Oh Won't You Come On Over,
Stop Making A Fool Out Of Me,
Why Dont You Come On Over,
Valerie

yay!

2008-11-14T13:12:00.000-08:00

i have my own ZOSO logo! yes yes the image you see as my header and footer (new terms for me) has been put together by the zain man. Looks pretty cool. Thanks dude the Ali owes you.

gossiping manbitches, parenthesis explanations and acronyms.

2008-11-14T10:14:00.000-08:00

Our story begins in a little known area of the sprawling metropolis of Karachi, an area known as Buthyland(Bath Island). There is an educational institute here, one quite famous in the circles it is known in. Its name is CAMS(no im not telling you what that stands for). In it we find the protagonists of our story, Amir Bilal and Ali Hasan(names should have been changed but we had budget cuts) and in September 2007, the aforementioned duo came created a plan. A plan to partay. A plan to go to LUMUN(Lahore University Model United Nations).

Since ACCA is a shitty educational option if you plan to party due to its similarities with private O and A levels study schemes i.e. no regular attendance mandatory(hence no unavoidable interaction with other people hence many barriers in socializing and hence creating opportunities to partay! woohoo! yeah bab...); CAMS did not really arrange many extra curricular activities. The few that were organized were mainly due to student initiatives. This was known to our heroes(:P) but what they did not expect was that when they reached the "student counsellor"(pfft!), she would have in her drawer a 2 month old invitation from the organizers of LUMUN! Which they never did anything about! What treachery was this?! Wilfull subversion of extracurricular opportunities?? A dastardly move! Undeterred, Bilal and Ali presented their case and proposed that if they could get the students and handle all the communication and pay for everything(the above mentioned ACCA plague gave CAMS all the excuses they needed to be cheap bastards); they should be allowed to go. CAMS, having very little liability, agreed.

fast forward selectah!

Ali and Bilal gather dudes and dudettes to go.
Ali and Bilal communicate with LUMUN people. Country is Jordan.
Ali and Bilal arrange outifts representative of Jordan(more or less)
Ali and Bilal leave and arrive a day early and Lahore, discover logistical shit at the hotel and sort it out asap.

(thats us with the original Fidel Castro at the Global Village. The one in Cuba was a double. Bilal's been thru India as you can see)
Ali and Bilal do the drill; committees resolutions etc.
Ali and Bilal manage nearly everything since the head delegate was a worthless ass.
Ali and Bilal stay in LUMS quite late, working on ...work..and radiocabbinb back to the hotel.
Ali and Bilal stay in lahore 2 days after the MUN is over.
Ali and Bilal return to Karachi, determined to return for LUMUN 08.

warp speed to september 08!

Ali and Bilal keep up rapport with CAMS' "student coordinator" and plan LUMUN 08.
Ali and Bilal attend LUMUN training session at the most desolately located beaconhouse in the damn world!
Ali and Bilal plan with "student coordinator" how to attract team members, which type of students to attract etc etc.
Ali and Bilal find out they're not on the team.

HOLY WHAT THE?!?!?

I know right!? It turns out some manbitches on the team were green in the ass about our staying in LUMS late while they went to the hotel on the arranged shuttles. I mean wtf ass, if you wanted to stay you could've?!? They thought we were partying our asses off. The 2 extra days we spent in Lahore further proved their hypothesis in their minds. They also went and told the shit-for-brains "coordinator". Who created a mental image of us being drunk, crazy, wet tshir...crazy dudes who just wanted to go to party. And she screwd us out of the team. With a shit excuse so riddled with truth-piercing bullet holes that we saw right through it from the start. I mean what the hell! We do ALL the work and just cuz we dont gossip and suck up at will means this is what we get?!?

Welcome to Pakistan and politics for nobody, Ali and Bilal.
Hadd hogayi.

Screw this shit im going to LUMS next year for my MBA and so help me I will BE LUMUN!!

a whisper in the wind

2008-11-13T13:42:00.000-08:00

Holy shit! It's cold! Well...sort've...colder if you must.

FINALLY the weather begins to back off. After weeks of listening to Owais Malik, on CityFM89's GenerationX, go on and on about how in Islamabad people have started to bring out their jackets and people messaging in telling him and everyone how Lahore is cooling down; Karachi is catching up bitches!

I love winter. Absolutely positively adore it. I like wearing lots of clothes and well not really wanting to rip everything off and run around naked and still feel like I'm being broiled on a slow flame with a dash of garlic. Which is all one could possibly do in winter, right? Well yeah, maybe. But then in winter you can go out to your local Agha Juice shop, which is the franchise that wasn't since well a million shops have that name and i don't think any is linked to another. Their coffee is cheap, not all that good and yet seems to be exquisite as you sit on the roadside and slurp from their probably unsanitary crockery. Dirty cups I mean. Heehee suggestivepana.

Oh and in winters I bring out me badass leather jacket. Which is badass since it makes me look badass. Though technically I am not badass. I am a boringass. Also a shortass. At times i suppose lameass and dumbass would also qualify, depending on the bases of your ass-essment ofcourse. Yes. That was a pune.

I also grow a beard. Which makes me look even more badass. Think...daaku. Yes. That badass. If it wern't for the shortass I would be badass I believe. Haye.

See? I told you. Though now that I focus, I dont look that badass. No matter. Will prove that I too can look like a daaku this time round. Thats the jacket by the way.

Also oh shit wait I found it!

heeheeeheee

That's from one of the times Darkie(brother in stupid shit extroadinaire), Shani(balochi vadere ki aulaad in disguise, also a SSUETy :P) and I hungout. We went to Hotspot and stuff random timewasting ensued falana dhamaka. We also made a video, which is kind've the only reason I wrote all of the above. Yup. Wasted your time, Mr.Nobody. You're my only fan. So here goes.

Lol. That was lame. Anyway, I must dig up stuff to write upon and how to attract readers. Iz part of plan. Oh hey must also continue my mythos about me! Hmm!

ah screw it

2008-11-13T12:53:00.000-08:00

I like green. That's what my font colour will be. Screw anyone who disagrees. have a problem with that? Talk to my agent.

*Would've been cooler had he been the same green :(

jamshed; we have a problem..

2008-11-13T12:30:00.000-08:00

Anyone who's wondering what's up with the colour changes with the posts firstly, OMG readers! and secondly I'm at odds with the fact that the colours that affect the overall settings do not have retrospective effect when you select them and that the posting options do not have the same colours as the overall settings do! What the hell! So anyway, yeah.

Star Log No. 35

2008-11-13T01:51:00.000-08:00

We've been drifting in deep space for many weeks now. Our food supply is running low. The warp drives are in need of repair and we do not have the necessary parts. Ironically if the drives were working we would have been able to acquire the hardware required.

Damn chicken egg situations.

Recently one of the crew questioned the purpose of maintaining this journal which led me to question my own motives. Since I don't think we'll be making it back to Earth x07, the book deal with JarJaramount is off for all intents and purposes. That sucks. I really wanted that to go through and possibly turn into a film adaptation. No matter. It's their loss. ZOMG! Space monkeys are attacking!

That is what is called a hatchet job. A result of my own minisicule attention span which is only extended if there's something really cool going on. That^ wasnt it.

But no seriously. Why do I even have a blog. I suppose in my mind I relate it to the dream. If you don't know what I'm talking about then read the darn description thingy under the main title thingy. Articulate, I am not.

How does this factor in? I dunno, I have this vague plan of somehow making this blog really popular. So that I get popular. So that people know about me and my music(which I will have by then) and that incrementally will affect my fame. Very idealistic and shallow, I know. But it does seem like a good idea. Anyway, lets see how this works out.

Areas part of plan to rule the wor...music world. Ahem.

My blog
My Youtube
My radio show (do not have this yet, need to work on it asap!)
A TV show...maybe..not really a priority.

All of the above are ofcourse, apart from the music itself.

Speaking of music, I'd been listening to these two songs on the radio quite a bit and thought i should post them. Really opening up non-guitar music avenues in my mind.

Oh wait, have to see how to post youtube stuff here.

Ugh crap. Embedding disabled videos. Stupidass people. Anyway here're the links.

Madcon's Beggin' (really dig the drums in this)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ync5XfNNPo

Mgmt's Electric Feel (very nice vibe)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UtUI5MC9tVM

All along the eastern shore,
put your circuits in the sea
This is what the world is for,
making electricity
You can feel it in your mind
Oh you can do it all the time
Plug it in and change the world
You are my electric girl

Ooh girl,
shock me like an electric eel
Baby girl,
turn me on with your electric feel

McDonalds. metal (un)detectors and bond...james bond..

2008-11-11T11:17:00.000-08:00

Aao Jiggy hojaen.

Famous last words.

So anyway! I go with me buddy Bilal the Doggy, no idea why he's called that...by just one person, to study and shit cuz we have exams in the beginning of December. Different exams but I go anyway. I can leave the house, drive (which I happen to like) and hang out with somebody who isn't an idiot. Though I suppose other people would call us idiots if they heard the stuff we say and laugh at.

But i digest.

On weekdays, we go to the McDonalds at Seaview to study. Every weekend our relationship with them takes a downward swing. The fact that single dudes aren't allowed has nothing to do with this. We go there cuz we dont mind the chaos, they have tables at the appropriate height and cheap yet effective cappucinos. Which we are now addicted on since we've been doing this for around 3 weeks. We don't accomplish much in the 2 hours that we're there but if were the kind to think about stuff like that we would've been done with our respective ACCAs.

At McDonalds, there is a pair of statues of the man, Ronald McDonald on a pair of benches. Yes one on each. It appears that this seems to form a 'mortal enemy' image in the minds of all children of all nationalities, i.e. Pakistani and Korean. Children will climb on the benches and inflict their best attempts at a smackdown on the figures. They will slap his face, kick him in the ribs and punch his neck. I have seen this many a time.

Also, they have metal detectors. Which do nothing of the sort. Usually the guard standing besides them(guarding the detector I suppose) asks us to deposit our keys and cellphones in this tray besides the contraption while we walk through so that the arsenal we carry upon ourselves is revealed. But they never beep. Even WITH the cellphones and keys they dont beep. WHY HASNT McDONALDS NOT BEEN BLOWN UP YET?! PROOF THAT PAKISTANIS ARE NOT TERRORISTS!!

They also have metal detectors at our single cineplex. I happend to walk through them today when I went to book seats for Quantum of Solace. With everything in my pockets. The thing went nuts. It's beeping made nearly eeryone turn around and look and I could hear their thoughts as they said "OMG, Mullah Omar!......I bet he's here for Dostana..."

Curiously, the FOUR rent-a-cops besides this device didn't appear to give a shit. Or maybe i was walking so fast they thought if they did try to stop me I really would blow up.

I don't need no consolation,
I dont want no reservation.
I only got one destination and that's your dirty love,
Your dirty love.

Irony.

2008-11-10T10:24:00.000-08:00

Weird how i become that which i so oppose.
Weird how i can not bring myself back from the edges.
Woah...
....
....
This is pretty cool.
Makes things look all poem-y.

I wonder if that hyphen was entirely necessary.
Would you have understood what i meant regardless?

Oh so hey! Road to Rockstardom!
Oh wait, have to stop writing like this.

Yeah so, the prologue to my ongoing story!
I want to be a rockstar! Yes you know this. You've probably read the stuff written under the title. How do i plan to do this? I'm not really sure about that so we'll muse on that later. For now i'll just update y'all on what I've done about this aim till now.

I PLAY BASS!! Mediocrly well. Im not sure if that's the correct spelling. Why do YOU care? Yeah so bass.

The dream started around....umm...nearly 4 years ago. I was in my final year of A levels and my friend had just bought a guitar. Jal had just released their album and I liked Linkin Park. Jal was easy enough to cover so my friend did. Thsi, and the fact that Jal was made up people slightly older than us opened my eyes to a possibility that music isn't really the dead end people who talked about my career around and sometimes to me, made it seem. All of a sudden at the Eid party an underground band showed up, since one of my juniors was a drummer, in that band as we discovered.

Guns 'n Roses, Velvet Revolver, Metallica, Mizraab and Dream Theater followed in my maddened newfound addiction with guitar music. I had to be a guitarist. I had to be amazingly cool. I had to inspire people to reach orgasmic highs by my music.

I had to be Slash.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vewm5l-i-yw

And then i heard Can't Stop by the Red Hot Chili Peppers. Liked it quite a bit. Quite a few days later, a couple of months i believe, randomly walked into Music City(a CD store) and saw a copy of their greatest hits lying there. Since I'd liked Cant Stop i thought I should buy it, though the song wasn't on it and none of the songs that were were familiar to me. Went home. Popped it in. Was blown away. Far far away. I had never heard such music before. Note that the profoundness of the experience will probably not be replicated with anyone else since this was most probably due to my extreme lack of musical experience till that point. Never had I heard such restrained yet crazy drumming. The guitars were not restrained to the usual genre boundaries I'd been exposed to. The vocals were fast, slow, loud, soft and everything in between. And then there was the bass. Flea in my eyes was the end. The end, though temporary, of my dreams till that point. For now, after listening to the album i recorded 43 times; I had a new dream.

I was going to be a bassist.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z5u3QW4yBls

deep breath

2008-11-09T11:28:00.000-08:00

okay. i have a blog. this is slightly scary. i dont know what i'm supposed to write here. will anyone even read this, i wonder. i suppose there is you....thank you? okay whatever this is lame. there is a purpose. a meaning to this blog. a reason why i need this and maybe why someday it'l be worth something. read the description. when all is said and done, i will be huge. ginormous. bigger than atif -_- ... or well comparable..hopefully.

since stuff doesn't really happen on a day to day basis i suppose in the days to come i will dwell on the past a bit more than the present. set up a prologue, as it were, for this tale of mine. wait, and you might receive. we aren't really sure. anyway. i am ali. hear me snore.

Clarity & Funk v2.0

Pakistan Bans the Internet.

the ADP analysis.

Oh Holy shit..

NFP meets Sean Kingston

a day in the life of... Pakistan..

The Evolution of Dance.

purpose

dear, dear me..

The PPP attacks the Shanaakht Festival, destroys the exhibit at the Arts Council

This is taken from Omar Bilal Akhtar(OBA of ADP)'s blog:

The PPP attacks the Shanaakht Festival, destroys the exhibit at the Arts Council

the state of the nation

the great gig on the second floor, by pink flam.

When two people like the same girl.

of devils and demon women..

What I've been upto

News thus far and new media incoming!

Nobody pays? Play for charity!

the RJ journey begins!

just so all you shit-for-brains ignorant fools know;

stuff that has made and still makes me high

the other blojz in the world

The day after Friday the 13th of February 2009.

the Jim, bharamzzZz and hookers

Why there's a version 2.0

the most excited blogpost ever!

The Verld through my Ass!

Mental vacancy

The post that nearly wasn't..

Me a la xkcd!

cut and slash!

Blaj.

the long friday, a starman graphic novel.

PhUnNy $tUfFszxXsz!! lolxxx lmao rotf...oh you get it.

Traffic and driving in Karachi; the Ali approach.

the rockiad

yay!

gossiping manbitches, parenthesis explanations and acronyms.

a whisper in the wind

ah screw it

jamshed; we have a problem..

Star Log No. 35

McDonalds. metal (un)detectors and bond...james bond..

Irony.

*deep breath*

deep breath