Saturday, November 29, 2008

PhUnNy $tUfFszxXsz!! lolxxx lmao rotf...oh you get it.

hello vapid followers! If anyone at all is wondering why I'm not posting well...I'm busy. Yeah. That's all the explanation you'll get so take it sucka!

In the meantime, I looking to free up space on my measly 40 gig hard drive and found some actually funny, probably forwarded stuff that I thought I should post in lieu of an actual rant.

9 Things I hate About People:

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

2. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the T.V. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually.

3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Damn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?

4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? Gonna Kick their asses!

5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor.

6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?".... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?

7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.

8. When people say "life is short". What the hell?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?

9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbass?

Did You Know?

If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
(Hardly seems worth it.)

If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
(Now that's more like it!)

The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.

A A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.
(In my next life, I want to be a pig.)

A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. (Creepy.)
(I'm still not over the pig)

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.
(Do not try this at home. Maybe at work.)

The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.
("Honey, I'm home. What the...?!")

The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field.
(30 minutes... lucky pig. Can you imagine??)

Random Joke:

All the parts of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was the one in charge.
"I should be in charge" said the brain, "because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing would happen."
"I should be in charge" said the blood, "because I circulate oxygen all over, so without me you'd all waste away."
"I should be in charge" said the stomach, "because I process food and give all of you energy."
"I should be in charge" said the legs, "because I carry the body wherever it needs to go."
"I should be in charge" said the eyes, "because I allow the body to see where it goes."
"I should be in charge" said the rectum, "Because I'm responsible for waste removal."
All the other body parts laughed at the rectum and insulted him, so in a huff, he shut down tight.
Within a few days, the brain had a terrible headache, the stomach was bloated, the legs got wobbly, the eyes got watery and the blood was toxic.
They all decided that the rectum should be the boss.
The Moral of the story...the asshole is usually in charge.

20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level of Insanity

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with That.

4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In"

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone Has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch To Espresso.

6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Sexual Favors"

7. Finish All Your sentences with " Accordance With The Prophecy"

8. Don't use any punctuation

9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

10. Ask People What Sex They Are. Laugh Hysterically After They Answer.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go"

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme.

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play Tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In The Mood.

16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Hard.

17. When The Money Comes Out Of The ATM, Scream "I Won!, I Won!"

18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking Lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!"

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner,"Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go"

And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity.......

20. Send This Message To Someone To Make Them Smile...It's Called Therapy.

I told you they were forwards.

When you're dreaming with a broken heart
The waking up is the hardest part
You roll outta bed and down on your knees
And for the moment you can hardly breathe
Wondering was she really here?
Is she standing in my room?
No she's not, 'cause she's gone,

When you're dreaming with a broken heart
The giving up is the hardest part
She takes you in with her crying eyes
Then all at once you have to say goodbye
Wondering could you stay my love?
Will you wake up by my side?
No she can't, 'cause she's gone,

Now do i have to fall asleep with roses in my hands
Do i have to fall asleep with roses in my hands?
Would you get them if i did?
No you won't, 'cause you're gone.

When you're dreaming with a broken heart
The waking up is the hardest part.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Traffic and driving in Karachi; the Ali approach.

Hello again rabid followers. I see you have yet to receive your shots. Bartender..

Ha Ha, yes that was indeed a pune.

Today's rant shall be about traffic in Karachi. How it sucks to high heaven. How shit brained motorcycle dudes do whatever the fk they want to and if antyhing happens to them it's always the gari walas fault. I mean what the hell!? A few days ago, traffic was really slow opposite my complex thingy. Cars stopped or moving real slow and what not. The whole nine yards. Out of nowhere, this motorcycle comes streaking in and around cars at around 45kmph. In out left right you name it he did it. Up ahead, on the left side of the road obviously...well not obviously, a bus had stopped(a rare occurence in karachi) to pick up some people. Motorcylce dude miscalculated his last swerve, his bike caught the end of the bus and stopped. He though, went flying on.

Ah, satisfaction.

Oh look some upstanding city folk coming to tell him off and that he got what he deserved..what...why're you helping him?? Is he alright?? Screw him! What if that was a person he'd plowed into?!? Oh please. Sigh.

Moving on. With hate.

I drive fast. Not crazy fast. More like 80-is-my-zone fast. I indicate, stick to the appropriate lanes, over-take from the correct side(the right the right!) and generally am not a douche with wheels. Nothing up there that says other people aren't, is there? Hmm nope. Cuz they are. Faggots.

One of the finer representatives of shit drivers are those who are FoB. Fresh off the Bus. I.e. theyve just moved to the city. Most of them can not read, let alone write. But somehow, they are considered fit for driving. Surely they must start off small, yes?


Besides the few who putter around in those small pickups known only by the manufacturer's name, most of the others get the big stuff. Buses, tractors, trucks and lorries. Take that and apply the law of the jungle and you have some scrap metal fun. I've had quite a few brushes with these 4-6 wheeler death dealers of my own. The most recent I will illustrate.

This happens at the Karsaz Rd and Dalmia traffic intersection, for those familiar. I am going from clifton to Gulistan-e-Johar and hence from Karsaz onto Dalmia.

This is me waiting at the signal. Starting line. Pole position. Everyone around me, get ready to eat my dust.

As you can see, my signal is red. That is all that is keeping me motion-less. If you forget about all the jumping-around-to-the-radio that goes on inside the car.

Okay one signal down, one to go! I know when these guys are done, it's me! Haha! Oh hey wait...that means when they're on Yellow..I am too...I can blast-off early...

Haha! I was right! We are yellow simulataneously! Eat burnt rubber suckahzxxzzszz!!

Oh...what is that I see out of the corner of my eye....


*our protagonist has not yet seen that there is not one, but two tractors. this corner-of-the-eye business is very overrated. let us zoom in a bit so that we may see what unfolds more clearly*


*our story continues at roughly 50kmph which, considering the proximity of the involved bodies, is pretty damn fast*

I'll only have one shot at this. I must brake hard, but not too hard, swerve to the left madly so that im clear of the first tractor and out before the 2nd one slams into me..HOLY STUPID MOVES, THE SECOND DUDE LET GO OFF THE WHEEL, WHY THE HELL ARE BOTH HIS HANDS UP IN THE AIR!?!

Bloody hell that was close.

Nobody gonna take my car
Im gonna race it to the ground
Nobody gonna beat my car
Its gonna break the speed of sound
Oooh its a killing machine
Its got everything
Like a driving power big
Fat tyres and everything

I wish, alas.

Sunday, November 16, 2008

the rockiad

so yeah since I have this bloj and love talking about me we return to the rockiad! The story of me! Lessee where'd i leave off...umm..

Ah! I had to be a bassist.

So I put the idea before my handlers(parents). I had the dough, thanks to grants received from various relatives due to le O leveles(did good there) and all I needed was permission. Why I needed permission to use my own money was a shitty reality of my existance then. The situation is a bit different now since I don't have any money to spend.

Anyway! To get permission, I had to get into LUMS. Hah! I got in while my A level exams were ongoing. The fact that I'd screwed them and in fact would not be going to LUMS was a matter no one could have predicted.

So I got the bass and a crappy little Yamaha amplifier. Initial stuff was simple. Feel Good Inc. by the Gorillaz, Seven Nation Army by the White Stripes etc. Saad Khaleel and Naeem Khan, a couple of friends going back to me O level days, which weren't that long ago then, and Anes Jaleel, a new acquaintance brought around by Babar; used to jam in those days. I used to loan my bass to them since I couldn't okay much then. Anes sang, Saad played the geetar and Naeem alternated between the geetar and bass.

For the first year of my bass posession, I didn't play much. Though I did play my first gig. At the City School Gulshan A levels Farewell 2006. The batch after ours. It was an absolute disaster. We had three songs; Sweet Child o' Mine, With or Without You and Lamhey by Jal which we planned to pull a 'feat.' with a junior and ask him to sing. Anes wasn't in this gig for whatever reason.

Sweet Child o' Mine started wrong. Saad's, who was singing, voice got stuck in his throat at the start and he choked off. We crashed to a halt, citing 'technical difficulties'. We moved on directly to the solo and since neither Naeem nor I knew shit about scales and what not, nor were we skilled enough to cope; we were all over the place. Naveed, another friend along as our 'manager', kept telling us how much time we had left. Every thirty seconds. Which didn't help with the pressure. I an attempt to save our sinking ship we called Zain Kazmi up to sing Lamhey. That went passably well apart from the fact that Zain sang along to a metronome in his head and Naeem's guitar fell of the strap mid-song forcing Naeem to sit at the edge of the stage, legs dangling; and play, prompting another junior to suggest he let him join in if he was messing around just for fun.

Hilariously, we ended that song big. Saad on his knees strumming furiously, me slapping the hell out of my bass and Naeem....well he was still sitting, oblovious of the wannabe-rocker hell we were raising behind him.

And then we were shut down. Our ex-principal told us to get off her stage despite the fact, as Naveed reminded us; that we had 7 minutes remaining. With or Without You got canned as a result and Saad collapsed backstage or rather sidestage, moaning over and over 'yaaaar, kitnaa fuck kardia yaaar shit yaaaar'.

Though the audience loved it. Weird. People really usually don't know shit.

More next time on the amazing Wannabe Rockiad!

Well Sometimes I Go Out,
By Myself,
And I Look Across The Water.

And I Think Of All The Things,
Of What You're Doing,
And in my head I Paint A Picture.

'Cause since I've Come Home,
Well My Body's Been A Mess,
And I Miss Your ginger Hair,
And The Way You Like To Dress.

Oh Won't You Come On Over,
Stop Making A Fool Out Of Me,
Why Dont You Come On Over,

Friday, November 14, 2008


i have my own ZOSO logo! yes yes the image you see as my header and footer (new terms for me) has been put together by the zain man. Looks pretty cool. Thanks dude the Ali owes you.

gossiping manbitches, parenthesis explanations and acronyms.

Our story begins in a little known area of the sprawling metropolis of Karachi, an area known as Buthyland(Bath Island). There is an educational institute here, one quite famous in the circles it is known in. Its name is CAMS(no im not telling you what that stands for). In it we find the protagonists of our story, Amir Bilal and Ali Hasan(names should have been changed but we had budget cuts) and in September 2007, the aforementioned duo came created a plan. A plan to partay. A plan to go to LUMUN(Lahore University Model United Nations).

Since ACCA is a shitty educational option if you plan to party due to its similarities with private O and A levels study schemes i.e. no regular attendance mandatory(hence no unavoidable interaction with other people hence many barriers in socializing and hence creating opportunities to partay! woohoo! yeah bab...); CAMS did not really arrange many extra curricular activities. The few that were organized were mainly due to student initiatives. This was known to our heroes(:P) but what they did not expect was that when they reached the "student counsellor"(pfft!), she would have in her drawer a 2 month old invitation from the organizers of LUMUN! Which they never did anything about! What treachery was this?! Wilfull subversion of extracurricular opportunities?? A dastardly move! Undeterred, Bilal and Ali presented their case and proposed that if they could get the students and handle all the communication and pay for everything(the above mentioned ACCA plague gave CAMS all the excuses they needed to be cheap bastards); they should be allowed to go. CAMS, having very little liability, agreed.

fast forward selectah!

Ali and Bilal gather dudes and dudettes to go.
Ali and Bilal communicate with LUMUN people. Country is Jordan.
Ali and Bilal arrange outifts representative of Jordan(more or less)
Ali and Bilal leave and arrive a day early and Lahore, discover logistical shit at the hotel and sort it out asap.

(thats us with the original Fidel Castro at the Global Village. The one in Cuba was a double. Bilal's been thru India as you can see)
Ali and Bilal do the drill; committees resolutions etc.
Ali and Bilal manage nearly everything since the head delegate was a worthless ass.
Ali and Bilal stay in LUMS quite late, working on radiocabbinb back to the hotel.
Ali and Bilal stay in lahore 2 days after the MUN is over.
Ali and Bilal return to Karachi, determined to return for LUMUN 08.

warp speed to september 08!

Ali and Bilal keep up rapport with CAMS' "student coordinator" and plan LUMUN 08.
Ali and Bilal attend LUMUN training session at the most desolately located beaconhouse in the damn world!
Ali and Bilal plan with "student coordinator" how to attract team members, which type of students to attract etc etc.
Ali and Bilal find out they're not on the team.


I know right!? It turns out some manbitches on the team were green in the ass about our staying in LUMS late while they went to the hotel on the arranged shuttles. I mean wtf ass, if you wanted to stay you could've?!? They thought we were partying our asses off. The 2 extra days we spent in Lahore further proved their hypothesis in their minds. They also went and told the shit-for-brains "coordinator". Who created a mental image of us being drunk, crazy, wet tshir...crazy dudes who just wanted to go to party. And she screwd us out of the team. With a shit excuse so riddled with truth-piercing bullet holes that we saw right through it from the start. I mean what the hell! We do ALL the work and just cuz we dont gossip and suck up at will means this is what we get?!?

Welcome to Pakistan and politics for nobody, Ali and Bilal.
Hadd hogayi.

Screw this shit im going to LUMS next year for my MBA and so help me I will BE LUMUN!!

Thursday, November 13, 2008

a whisper in the wind

Holy shit! It's cold! Well...sort've...colder if you must.

FINALLY the weather begins to back off. After weeks of listening to Owais Malik, on CityFM89's GenerationX, go on and on about how in Islamabad people have started to bring out their jackets and people messaging in telling him and everyone how Lahore is cooling down; Karachi is catching up bitches!

I love winter. Absolutely positively adore it. I like wearing lots of clothes and well not really wanting to rip everything off and run around naked and still feel like I'm being broiled on a slow flame with a dash of garlic. Which is all one could possibly do in winter, right? Well yeah, maybe. But then in winter you can go out to your local Agha Juice shop, which is the franchise that wasn't since well a million shops have that name and i don't think any is linked to another. Their coffee is cheap, not all that good and yet seems to be exquisite as you sit on the roadside and slurp from their probably unsanitary crockery. Dirty cups I mean. Heehee suggestivepana.

Oh and in winters I bring out me badass leather jacket. Which is badass since it makes me look badass. Though technically I am not badass. I am a boringass. Also a shortass. At times i suppose lameass and dumbass would also qualify, depending on the bases of your ass-essment ofcourse. Yes. That was a pune.

I also grow a beard. Which makes me look even more badass. Think...daaku. Yes. That badass. If it wern't for the shortass I would be badass I believe. Haye.

See? I told you. Though now that I focus, I dont look that badass. No matter. Will prove that I too can look like a daaku this time round. Thats the jacket by the way.

Also oh shit wait I found it!


That's from one of the times Darkie(brother in stupid shit extroadinaire), Shani(balochi vadere ki aulaad in disguise, also a SSUETy :P) and I hungout. We went to Hotspot and stuff random timewasting ensued falana dhamaka. We also made a video, which is kind've the only reason I wrote all of the above. Yup. Wasted your time, Mr.Nobody. You're my only fan. So here goes.

Lol. That was lame. Anyway, I must dig up stuff to write upon and how to attract readers. Iz part of plan. Oh hey must also continue my mythos about me! Hmm!

ah screw it

I like green. That's what my font colour will be. Screw anyone who disagrees. have a problem with that? Talk to my agent.

*Would've been cooler had he been the same green :(

jamshed; we have a problem..

Anyone who's wondering what's up with the colour changes with the posts firstly, OMG readers! and secondly I'm at odds with the fact that the colours that affect the overall settings do not have retrospective effect when you select them and that the posting options do not have the same colours as the overall settings do! What the hell! So anyway, yeah.

Star Log No. 35

We've been drifting in deep space for many weeks now. Our food supply is running low. The warp drives are in need of repair and we do not have the necessary parts. Ironically if the drives were working we would have been able to acquire the hardware required.

Damn chicken egg situations.

Recently one of the crew questioned the purpose of maintaining this journal which led me to question my own motives. Since I don't think we'll be making it back to Earth x07, the book deal with JarJaramount is off for all intents and purposes. That sucks. I really wanted that to go through and possibly turn into a film adaptation. No matter. It's their loss. ZOMG! Space monkeys are attacking!

That is what is called a hatchet job. A result of my own minisicule attention span which is only extended if there's something really cool going on. That^ wasnt it.

But no seriously. Why do I even have a blog. I suppose in my mind I relate it to the dream. If you don't know what I'm talking about then read the darn description thingy under the main title thingy. Articulate, I am not.

How does this factor in? I dunno, I have this vague plan of somehow making this blog really popular. So that I get popular. So that people know about me and my music(which I will have by then) and that incrementally will affect my fame. Very idealistic and shallow, I know. But it does seem like a good idea. Anyway, lets see how this works out.

Areas part of plan to rule the world. Ahem.

My blog
My Youtube
My radio show (do not have this yet, need to work on it asap!)
A TV show...maybe..not really a priority.

All of the above are ofcourse, apart from the music itself.

Speaking of music, I'd been listening to these two songs on the radio quite a bit and thought i should post them. Really opening up non-guitar music avenues in my mind.

Oh wait, have to see how to post youtube stuff here.

Ugh crap. Embedding disabled videos. Stupidass people. Anyway here're the links.

Madcon's Beggin' (really dig the drums in this)

Mgmt's Electric Feel (very nice vibe)

All along the eastern shore,
put your circuits in the sea

This is what the world is for,
making electricity

You can feel it in your mind
Oh you can do it all the time
Plug it in and change the world
You are my electric girl

Ooh girl,
shock me like an electric eel

Baby girl,
turn me on with your electric feel

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

McDonalds. metal (un)detectors and bond...james bond..

Aao Jiggy hojaen.

Famous last words.

So anyway! I go with me buddy Bilal the Doggy, no idea why he's called just one person, to study and shit cuz we have exams in the beginning of December. Different exams but I go anyway. I can leave the house, drive (which I happen to like) and hang out with somebody who isn't an idiot. Though I suppose other people would call us idiots if they heard the stuff we say and laugh at.

But i digest.

On weekdays, we go to the McDonalds at Seaview to study. Every weekend our relationship with them takes a downward swing. The fact that single dudes aren't allowed has nothing to do with this. We go there cuz we dont mind the chaos, they have tables at the appropriate height and cheap yet effective cappucinos. Which we are now addicted on since we've been doing this for around 3 weeks. We don't accomplish much in the 2 hours that we're there but if were the kind to think about stuff like that we would've been done with our respective ACCAs.

At McDonalds, there is a pair of statues of the man, Ronald McDonald on a pair of benches. Yes one on each. It appears that this seems to form a 'mortal enemy' image in the minds of all children of all nationalities, i.e. Pakistani and Korean. Children will climb on the benches and inflict their best attempts at a smackdown on the figures. They will slap his face, kick him in the ribs and punch his neck. I have seen this many a time.

Also, they have metal detectors. Which do nothing of the sort. Usually the guard standing besides them(guarding the detector I suppose) asks us to deposit our keys and cellphones in this tray besides the contraption while we walk through so that the arsenal we carry upon ourselves is revealed. But they never beep. Even WITH the cellphones and keys they dont beep. WHY HASNT McDONALDS NOT BEEN BLOWN UP YET?! PROOF THAT PAKISTANIS ARE NOT TERRORISTS!!

They also have metal detectors at our single cineplex. I happend to walk through them today when I went to book seats for Quantum of Solace. With everything in my pockets. The thing went nuts. It's beeping made nearly eeryone turn around and look and I could hear their thoughts as they said "OMG, Mullah Omar!......I bet he's here for Dostana..."

Curiously, the FOUR rent-a-cops besides this device didn't appear to give a shit. Or maybe i was walking so fast they thought if they did try to stop me I really would blow up.

I don't need no consolation,
I dont want no reservation.
I only got one destination and that's your dirty love,
Your dirty love.

Monday, November 10, 2008


Weird how i become that which i so oppose.
Weird how i can not bring myself back from the edges.
This is pretty cool.
Makes things look all poem-y.

I wonder if that hyphen was entirely necessary.
Would you have understood what i meant regardless?

Oh so hey! Road to Rockstardom!
Oh wait, have to stop writing like this.

Yeah so, the prologue to my ongoing story!
I want to be a rockstar! Yes you know this. You've probably read the stuff written under the title. How do i plan to do this? I'm not really sure about that so we'll muse on that later. For now i'll just update y'all on what I've done about this aim till now.

I PLAY BASS!! Mediocrly well. Im not sure if that's the correct spelling. Why do YOU care? Yeah so bass.

The dream started around....umm...nearly 4 years ago. I was in my final year of A levels and my friend had just bought a guitar. Jal had just released their album and I liked Linkin Park. Jal was easy enough to cover so my friend did. Thsi, and the fact that Jal was made up people slightly older than us opened my eyes to a possibility that music isn't really the dead end people who talked about my career around and sometimes to me, made it seem. All of a sudden at the Eid party an underground band showed up, since one of my juniors was a drummer, in that band as we discovered.

Guns 'n Roses, Velvet Revolver, Metallica, Mizraab and Dream Theater followed in my maddened newfound addiction with guitar music. I had to be a guitarist. I had to be amazingly cool. I had to inspire people to reach orgasmic highs by my music.

I had to be Slash.

And then i heard Can't Stop by the Red Hot Chili Peppers. Liked it quite a bit. Quite a few days later, a couple of months i believe, randomly walked into Music City(a CD store) and saw a copy of their greatest hits lying there. Since I'd liked Cant Stop i thought I should buy it, though the song wasn't on it and none of the songs that were were familiar to me. Went home. Popped it in. Was blown away. Far far away. I had never heard such music before. Note that the profoundness of the experience will probably not be replicated with anyone else since this was most probably due to my extreme lack of musical experience till that point. Never had I heard such restrained yet crazy drumming. The guitars were not restrained to the usual genre boundaries I'd been exposed to. The vocals were fast, slow, loud, soft and everything in between. And then there was the bass. Flea in my eyes was the end. The end, though temporary, of my dreams till that point. For now, after listening to the album i recorded 43 times; I had a new dream.

I was going to be a bassist.

Sunday, November 9, 2008

*deep breath*

okay. i have a blog. this is slightly scary. i dont know what i'm supposed to write here. will anyone even read this, i wonder. i suppose there is you....thank you? okay whatever this is lame. there is a purpose. a meaning to this blog. a reason why i need this and maybe why someday it'l be worth something. read the description. when all is said and done, i will be huge. ginormous. bigger than atif -_- ... or well comparable..hopefully.

since stuff doesn't really happen on a day to day basis i suppose in the days to come i will dwell on the past a bit more than the present. set up a prologue, as it were, for this tale of mine. wait, and you might receive. we aren't really sure. anyway. i am ali. hear me snore.